Today was a bitter sweet day. It is the last day we spent together as a family of five. We took the kiddos miniature golfing, played at a park and topped it off with IN-N-Out. The time we had together here has been so special to me. Joe just left to drive them back home and I haven't been able to stop crying. I miss them like crazy already. My heart is broken right now. I hate saying goodbye to my kids. They have so many questions about what is going going on and when they will get to meet their brother, see mom and dad, etc. I know they will be fine but a mother's heart can't help but worry for them. I don't want them to be scared or worried or sad. I want to protect them, hold them, love them. I want to be there for them. But right now I have to be here...and that hurts me.
I am also anxious about tomorrow. Regardless of Stephen's condition being induced is a nerve racking thing. Showing up to a hospital asking them to put you in pain is an odd concept. The process of labor, delivery and recovery is not something I ever look forward to. It hurts. Right now I am scared. I know God is with me and will give me what I need, but that doesn't mean I am not broken on my knees crying out to him. This isn't easy. We have made it to this point by his grace and I know he will continue to lift us up, but it won't be easy.
I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. We are checking in at 6:45am and around 7:30 or so they will begin the process. I don't know what it will be like when he is born or how I will feel when they take him away. I imagine my heart will hurt much like it does right now.
Please pray for all of us.
I hate needles, blood, and hospitals in general, so please pray for strength to make it through.
Pray for peace rather than anxiety and trust rather than fear.
Pray for Joe. I don't always know what goes on in a mans head but they have a beautiful innate desire to protect. I know it is hard for him to see me in pain or watch me hurt. Pray for his heart as well and that God will give him exactly what he needs to be there for us all.
Pray for my kids. That they too will be prepared for whatever is to come.
Pray for Stephen. More than anything pray for life. Whether through miraculous healing or guiding the hands of the doctors...pray that our son will live.
Thank you again for your care. There are so many people praying. Family, good friends, churches and people who we have never met but have a love for God and a heart for our family. THANK YOU!!!
Your prayers right now are the greatest gifts ou can give.
I will try to give some updates tomorrow...but can make no promises.
"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you" Psalm 33:20-22
With Much Love and Hope,
Kim
Kim... Thank you for glimpse inside your walk with the Lord the last few days. Your words bring tears to my eyes because I understand your mommy worries, laughter because we do love to plan, and inspiration because you have such strength and faith! We will be praying for you and your family:) Jasmine & Juliette
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your heart & your thoughts, it brings tears to my eyes. We are praying that you and Joe will experience & feel God's presence and strength like never before. Praying that your kids at home will have understanding beyond their years. That God will carry you and his arms hold you up as you face each day, a step at a time. We love you! Chris & Joyce
ReplyDeleteKim,
ReplyDeleteJust know we are praying for you and Joe. While my mother heart breaks for you, I know our Lord is holding you both and Stephen in the palm of His loving hand. May He be glorified and you be blessed.
Debi
I've decided to pray radically that your labor will commence in earnest at 7:00 a.m. tomorrow so that you won't need to be induced and so everyone will still be there ready for Stephen's birth.
ReplyDeleteJob 33:4 ESV
The Spirit of God has made me,
and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.
This is my verse for Stephen. I know that God has woven him together in your womb for His own purposes. Now we pray expectantly that those purposes include life!
Love to all you dear Russells.
Kim, I am one you have not met. Though after visiting my daughter Emily, and meeting Joe in February, I have been praying for Stephen and your family. The magnet heart your kids made has been a constant, visable reminder.
ReplyDeleteWhile at work today, Emily texted me to let me know this was the day. A young mom's bible study was meeting, so I asked them to pray as well. Love how the Spirit of God connects all His beloved!
Prayers continue to ascend!
God is sovereign, He is faithful, He is trustworthy.
Know that you are all in our prayers and Our Heavenly Father has you all wrapped in His arms.
ReplyDeleteWe as a family, (especially the kids and I) have been praying throughout the day for you guys for the last week. I can't imagine the myriad of challenges you are going through--many are stated above. But I know God is good and He is able and He is loving. I have prayed for miraculous healing from day one--Lord Jesus hold sweet Stephen in your arms and put his heart back together. May He be glorified! I pray that you both experience the comfort you cannot fathom and the most special intimate time in your first days with him. We love you and continue to lift you up throughout the day.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Alicia young (and family)