Just Went Back...

Stephen was wheeled back into the OR just before 1pm (slight delay in schedule).  Please pray that the Holy Sprit would fill that room, guide the surgeons and team of people working on him, and be with our precious boy.  The surgery should take about 5 hours, and we will hopefully be able to see him a couple hours after that.  Prayers over these next few hours (day) are greatly appreciated.

We Got a Room!

Just wanted to write a quick post, and PRAISE, that we got a room at the Ronald McDonald House!

As many of you know we were worried last time about not getting in...as they were really full!  Well, we did end up getting one the day of Stephen's pre-op...and then had to cancel because the surgery was delayed.  We were pretty certain we would get one this time (they said they had a bunch of stars by our name!) but just got the official call yesterday!!!!  Praise God!  This is a HUGE financial and emotional relief!  It only costs $20/night and is located on the top of the hospital parking lot so the parent not staying with Stephen is walking distance away.

My heart breaks a little at having to be a resident there again.  Those who are close to me know how dear this place is to my heart and know how much I would prefer to be there to support other families...not be the one in need of the support.  Nevertheless, I am SO grateful that it is always there when you need it.  It will be hard to be in the line for food, and not serving.  To look out at the playground and not be setting up a fun carnival for the kids.  But this time we spend there will make our next event we plan just that more special!

Pre-op is tomorrow morning at 9:30...so far he is still healthy...let's pray it stays that way!

Other prayer requests (on top of the ones from the last post)

I have a bit of a dry throat that is causing me to cough.  Pray that it is nothing major and goes away.  A cold would keep me away from Stephen...and I don't want that!
Pray for Lizzie & Audrey...they are struggling with having to leave tomorrow.  They will be so loved by my family, but they don't want to be away from us.  Pray that they would have extra peace...an lot's of fun!

And thank you all!  It is so VERY comforting knowing we have an army of people praying for our family!

4 Days and Counting...

I am often asked (by those who can get a hold of me) how I am doing.  You see, some may be surprised to find out, I am actually an introvert... an extroverted introvert that is.  I am not shy or quite (duh) but I am also not recharged by people.  I need my quiet, I need my away, and at times like these, I become somewhat of a hermit.

It doesn't mean I don't need people...I do!  It just means I probably can't talk.  It takes too much of me emotionally (at times) to have a conversation.  Please don't feel bad if you have talked to me lately, and please don't stop trying to call.  Just know, if I pick up I am good to talk, if I don't, I either can't find my phone, or just can't talk right now (or both!).  And your text messages, I may not be able to emotionally type a response back, but I covet the encouragement.  I know this could feel like a one way relationship, but right now, that may be all I am good for.  And I appreciate those willing to engage in it.  Thank you!

I have spent the majority of the past 2 weeks in isolation (lockdown) worried that Stephen will get sick and his surgery will once again be postponed.  Now, I found myself slightly terrified that he is not going to get sick, and in 4 days, this will all become a reality.  So, this week I have been trying to keep busy (all while being in a rather hot home) by organizing my garage.

You would think I should be cleaning my house, but no...garage it was!  It's kind of like the whole "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" book. You see, I wanted to repaint the inside of my house (yes I am crazy...and no I probably won't have time to do it now) so I started packing up some things in my room to make that possible.  I had to put these things into the garage to make space.  The garage was a wreck which stressed me out.  I didn't need more stress, so I decided to clean the garage...so I can put more stuff in it!  Makes sense right?!  But in cleaning it I needed to go through e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g because why keep what I don't use?!  So, yesterday I finally made the trip to the thrift shop with a van full of unneeded items...and it felt SO good!

Really, all of this is a coping mechanism to keep busy and keep my mind off of 4 days from now.  As soon as I stop, I think, and then I cry, and then I worry...and who needs to go through that e.v.e.r.y day...not me.  I am going to be a sobbing mess on Tuesday anyway, so why not just wait to until then to open the floodgates?!

However, now it is getting serious.  Again, I half expected it to just get cancelled again, and now (with a perfectly healthy child) it may not!  That means I need to stop it with the garage, put my painting dreams on hold (Agreeable Gray will just have to wait), and get this house cleaned up!  I mean...it's been 2 weeks of 4 kids in it ALL the time.  Yikes!  I need to actually start thinking of packing again and make some lists of what needs to be going where.  I have to pack for 3 kids going up to my mom's for an undetermined amount of days.  I need to pack for Joe, myself and Stephen for the hospital for again...an undetermined amount of days.  I need to buy snacks, stock up on pet food...and I don't know what else yet...hence I need to make a list!

So, how can you be praying for us?  Please continue to pray for the health of our entire family, especially Stephen.  Pray for peace so I won't be a complete stress case.  I am already having difficulty sleeping at night.  Pray that I can shut off my mind and get some rest.  Pray of Michael, Lizzie & Audrey as they will be away from home and their parents.  They truly are INCREDIBLE kiddos and have handled this life so well.  Pray for Joe.  I know he hurts too and deals with the stress so differently than I do.  Pray that he too has great peace and strength as he holds our family up.  Pray for Stephen, that as the surgery draws near, his nerves would not.  Pray that the surgery would go smoothly and that he would have a speedy and uneventful recovery.  Pray for his spirit, that he would come out of it all the smiley, joyful kiddo we all know and love so much.   And for a room at the RMH to open up...I think it looks good...but prayers are appreciated!

Pre-op is set for Monday friends...and surgery Tuesday if all stays well.

Oh Lord, this is happening isn't it?  Be with us.   Use this.  Use us.  Jesus, we trust in you.

New Date on the Calendar

A friend gave this to me the night before we
got the new date...how perfect, and beautiful, is this!!!
And she MADE it...SO talented!  

Man, I didn't realize how odd it would be to have a surgery postponed.  It's strange really.  For so long I feel like "normal" life has been 1/2 put on hold and 1/2 still here.  We can't do the normal social things, but we still have to shop and eat etc.  It's been interesting.  A friend put it best when asking me how it feels...it's like we are just floating.  We are here (sort of) but not here too.  Life is moving, but not much is happening.  I don't know.  But the wait for a date is over.  July 31st it is.

The date didn't come easy.  As expected, I didn't receive a call last week, and I was trying to be patient, but caved and called on Tuesday.  She said she saw she needed to reschedule Stephen and would give me a call tomorrow (which was yesterday).  I honestly didn't even expect a call that day, but at 4:30 she called and threw me way off.  The date they were going to give us was August 20th.  Seriously, I was shocked.  I mean waiting has already not been ideal, but then postponing for 8 weeks seemed exceptionally long...especially when he is perfectly HEALTHY right now.  I mean August 20th...that gives him SO much time to get "sick" again!

I expressed my concerns, which were mainly even if he were to get sick again what is next...another 8 weeks?!  That would put us into cold/flu season and NOPE not doing that unless it is deemed medically necessary.  SO, she offered me a sooner date, July 31st with the catch that he has to be the 2nd surgical case of the day...not ideal.  UGH...my heart broke.  Last night I just felt like crying.  Look, it may not seem like much, but life has been off lately.  A lot of crazy anticipation and waiting, and well, floating.  So hearing that he would be second case just deflated me.

Why you may ask?  First case is always ideal.  Sure you have to check into the hospital at 5:30 am, but you do so with a drowsy kid who isn't even hungry yet.  And you generally start on time.  Which means he only has to make it to 7:30 without eating...not hard at all.  2nd case...that's a different story.  2nd case means he can't eat solids after 6am.  So we still need to wake him up at 5 so he can eat, but then he gets no more food.  He also has to stop all liquids at 10:30 am for a (hopefully) 12:30 start time.  And that's the other thing...the start time can easily vary based on the first case.

For example, Stephen's cath lab in May went longer than planned for with the extra work they found. That meant the next case was pushed back.  The longer it is pushed back the longer he goes without being able to eat or drink.  He will also be VERY aware of what is about to happen.  And this time we can't even go into the operating room with him (it is an even more sterile environment than the cath lab....and rightfully so!)  =(  That means my hungry, thirsty 6 year old will have to be wheeled back into the OR alone...cue tears.

Look, I know I am being dramatic.  I know many kids have done this, and they survived.  I know he will even do better than I expect.  But that doesn't mean my mama's heart doesn't break a little more knowing that he has to go through a little more.  I would take this entire operation off his plate if I could, but I can't.  And I know how truly small this problem is compared to some BIG problems other kiddos are facing.  SO, I am going to keep counting my blessings and try to make it through the hard days ahead.

That being said, we took the night to process it, and I called back this morning and asked for the July 31st date.  As much as a first case surgery would be ideal, the July date works SO much better for us, and potentially offers a little more wiggle room is anything shall come up to postpone it again.

Commence Lock Down.  We are going to try to spend the majority of the next 2 1/2 weeks at home.  That means more missed birthday parties, soccer practices, friends houses, cousins etc.  But, on the bright side, it will hopefully mean some sweet sibling time.  I am going to try to make the most of it for the kiddos, while also trying to clean/organize bit!  So hopefully we will be sleeping in a tent in the backyard, enjoying a couple more World Cup matches, playing new board games, watching new movies, crafting it up and hopefully make some fun memories in the process.

And luckily, before lock down began, we got to enjoy a night at church where Stephen got to see some pretty awesome animals, hold a snake, and take a picture with Paco the Sloth! And sport his awesome new Vogmask...bc there was like 70 kids in there and I wasn't going to chance anything!

Prayers for our health, our hearts and our precious Stephen are greatly appreciated.  We know God's hand is in all of this.  We know He will continue to use Stephen's special heart for His Glory, and we are grateful for that!

Jesus, we trust in you!