Happy Heartiversary Sweet Boy!

Yesterday wasn't the first birthday I spent at Rady Children's hospital.  Stephen underwent his first open heart surgery the day after I turned 30...which still takes the cake for my worst birthday ever!

But today marks another milestone for our family.  Today is Stephen's "Heartiversary!"  5 years ago today Stephen underwent his first open heart surgery.  Honestly it was the worst day of my life until Lizzie topped it this summer.   But it is also a huge milestone to celebrate.  At just 10 days old Stephen endured more in one day than I had my entire life.

This morning when I  was talking to him about it he asked if his scar will always be there.  I answered "yes...and it will always show how strong and brave you are!"  He then proceeded to point out each chest tube scar and say "and this one, and this one and this one... 3 more!"

I love sweet this boy!

If you would like to read a little more about what this day means to me you can check out my blog post from his first Heartiversary...

A Year Ago Today

Stephen...he is just excited that he gets ice-cream today!

As for an update...he will also be going in on May 5th for his ECHO.  I was always told he would need his 3rd OHS by the time he was 5...and that time may have come.  My prayer is that we can continue to push it off.  I am praying that his heart is strong and his 02 sats are high enough to avoid surgery this summer.  I am dreading the Fontan surgery for many reasons.  So each appointment we weigh the benefits of the surgery with the risks, and as soon as the benefits outweigh the risks we will move forward.  Please join us in pray for clear guidance and wisdom on when to do so.
Right now I am fine but I will be a small wreck on May 5th.  Any heart mom knows how nerve racking it is to have scans.  Everything can seem so fine on the outside, but the inside can tell a different story.  Please pray for an EXCELLENT report!

Thank you!

And Happy Heartiversary Sweet Boy!!!!  You are so very LOVED!!!

Happy 5th Birthday Buddy!!!

Today my baby turns 5!  I know it is cliche to say this...but how have 5 years gone by!

This little guy brings so much joy to the world and I truly can't imagine my life without him.  God has used his special heart and his story to do beautiful and amazing things for His kingdom and for that I am so grateful.

His birthday always hits me with a ton of mixed emotions.  On one hand I look back and remember the struggles.  I remember how lonely it felt to give birth and then be left alone in a delivery room.  How heartbreaking it was to not be able to hold him, let alone remember what his face even looked liked.  My baby should have been in my arms and on my chest and instead he was on a table with lines and wires being placed in his tiny body.  I was in one hospital, and he was in another.

I couldn't hold him, I couldn't feed him, I could't sleep with him by my side.  It went against every natural instinct and feeling a mother has.  I could't do anything for him but pray.  I remember days later being allowed to change a diaper and I was overjoyed... a task I so many times took for granted. But when I was finally allowed to I jumped at the chance.

This was my baby on the day he was born...

But I also sit here today overjoyed because Stephen's birthday is a day to celebrate!  Today we celebrate his LIFE the amazing BLESSING that he is!

I have said it before but Stephen's life forever changed mine.  His journey made me a better person.  My perspective shifted.  I valued TIME with my kids and husband more than anything.  When you don't know how long you will get with someone you want to soak up every moment.  It changes the way you make decisions, the way you look at life, the way you spend your time and what you make a priority.

His life also opened my eyes to a hurting world.  At first I felt so alone, but soon I saw so many families hurting alongside of me.  Stephen's life opened doors to minister in ways I never imagined.  I am grateful for the families I have met through serving at the Ronald McDonald House.  I have prayed, cheered and cried alongside of so many and I am blessed to know each one of them.

So while today will brings a mixed bag of emotion to this mama's heart, it is mostly full of GRATITUDE and LOVE.   I am so thankful God blessed me with this child!  This kid kills me!  His laugh is adorable, his joy radiant and his smile melts your heart!

I mean... you can't look at him without smiling right back!  

So today we CELEBRATE!!!  

Happy 5th Birthday Stephen Joseph!  I love you with all my heart!  I pray that your joy will never leave you, that you will love the Lord and follow Him all of the days of your life, and that you will know just how special you are!  May God continue to bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you and may we celebrate YOU with MANY more birthdays to come!