A year ago today...

A year ago today Joe and I woke up and didn't say a word.  Before we left our room at 5:51 in the morning I typed the shortest post ever on this blog "I have no words...please pray".  We hardly slept the night before and wanted to be in Stephen's room extra early.

A year ago today we held Stephen as close as possible.  Joe and I took our turns with him in our arms.  We held him, kissed him and spent time just looking at him trying to soak up every detail from his fingers to his toes.

A year ago today doctors and anesthesiologist came by our little room and explained to us the surgical procedures and all of the potential risks associated with it.  Though we had heard them before, the reality of them sunk in as we signed paper after paper.

A year ago today we got the call from the OR...it was time.  We quietly followed behind our son as the nurses wheeled him through halls and down elevators.

A year ago today Joe and I had kiss our baby goodbye not knowing if he would return.

A year ago today we handed over our child.  We had to put our confidence in the surgeon and his team and our hope and trust in God.

A year ago today I had to wait.  I cried and prayed for hours.  I prayed for every person in that operating room and that God's spirit would fill it completely.   I cried at the thought of Stephen lying there still and unaware of what was going on.  I prayed that God would guide the hands of the surgeon and that He would work through him to help our son.  I cried at the thought of what was being done to him and prayed for angels to surround him.  I prayed and cried until I fell asleep in Joe's arms and then I prayed and cried some more.  I prayed that we wouldn't get a call too early...that nothing would go wrong.  I cried at the thought of losing Stephen and prayed to God for his life.

A year ago today the wait was over.  We received the call that he was out of surgery and that the surgeon would be meeting with us shortly.  We smiled, hugged and anxiously went to the waiting room.

A year ago today I looked into the eyes of the man that saved my sons life.  The surgery went smoothly and Stephen came out of the OR with his chest closed...almost unheard of.  I was so grateful. He said we weren't in the clear yet and that the next 24 hours would be telling...but that so far everything looked good.

A year ago today I braced myself as I walked into my sons room not fully knowing what to expect.  On our way in the doctors and nurses said he looked great..."great" looked near death to me.

A year ago today our son went from this...

                          to this...

A year ago today we felt relief.  We praised God that he was out of surgery and already doing so well. We were physically and emotionally drained.  We felt relieved to be back with him and that the worst was now over.

A year ago today I relied on God in ways I never had to before.  I  understood what it meant that He was my refuge, my fortress and my rock.  I poured my heart out to him and he heard my cries.

A year ago today was the hardest day of my life.

It is a hard day to reflect upon because it was so painful.  But today I sit here in a hotel room so grateful and amazed at what a difference a year has made.  A year ago today Stephen was sedated with so many wires, tubes and lines coming out of him...and today...Today he is this bright eyed handsome little boy who is so full of joy and has a smile that lights up a room.

We want to thank you all for the prayers that have covered our son on this journey.  God has blessed us through them...thank you!  We are so appreciative of all of you!!!

God Bless!!!

Happy Birthday Buddy!!!

Dear Stephen,
Words cannot express how much I love you.  Your life has changed me for the better and has taught me to love deeper than I ever knew was possible.  You are the happiest kid!  Your smile is contagious and you fill our days with laughter.  God has given you something extra special that just shines from you.  Everyone who meets you sees it  =0)  You are the strongest little boy I have ever know and I am honored that God chose me to be your mommy.

Happy Birthday Buddy!!!  I love you!!!

Love,

Mommy

1 is around the corner!

In 12 days Stephen will be 1!!!   We have been blessed beyond measure with his life and we are looking forward to celebrating all God has done this past year.  We couldn't think of a more perfect place to celebrate Stephen's birthday than right back where it all began.  On April 17th we will be going down to the Ronald McDonald House to make and serve dinner there and at the NICU.   My mom and I are hopefully sewing some soft little cuddle blankets for the babies in hospital this weekend and we are hoping to bring some gifts down to the Ronald McDonald house too!  When we checked into our room on Stephen's birthday they gave each of our children a stuffed animal.  It is hard to describe how much that meant to Joe and I.  Seeing our other 3 children full of joy helped ease the difficult situation we had just entered.  I know I have said what a special place the Ronald McDonald House is before...but that is because I mean it.  They go above and beyond to make families that are hurting feel loved and cared for.
On Stephen's birthday we would love to shower them with gifts for families like ours.  If you would like to join in our efforts in buying new stuffed animals, coloring books & crayons, or toys that kids could use in a hotel style environment we will be taking all donations down with us on April 17th.  If you are in the Orange County area gifts can be given to my family members and they will bring them down to us on the 13th and of course if you are in the Fallbrook area you can drop them off with Joe or myself.  We feel so blessed and would love to be able to bless others on such a joyous day!  If you have any questions feel free to email me at kdrussell04@aol.com

As for a little Stephen update...he is doing great!  His personality has been coming out more and more. He is a crack up.  He loves to smile with all his teeth and has the best giggle.  He plays peek-a-boo, climbs up and down stairs, points to his nose and says mama all day long.  He adores his siblings and they think he is pretty great too!  Here are a few pictures of the almost 1 year old =0)

Stephen loving on his cousin Dominic...so cute!!!

Happy Easter!

Last year our family spent Easter in a hotel.  I had been discharged from the hospital 2 days prior with semi-strict "bedrest" instructions.    As crazy as life was at the time it turned out to be a pretty spectacular day.  My family came down and brought everything for a fabulous Easter dinner.  Luckily the lobby/dining area was empty so we just set up camp...all 16 of us.   I wish I had taken pictures because it was pretty fantastic.
It was fun reminiscing this Easter.   Remembering all little things that made last year perfect.   When I say they brought everything...they did.  My dad even brought their espresso machine.  The boys went over to the basketball court with the kids while the girls talked in the lobby.  When the party thinned out enough to fit in our hotel room we sat and played cards.  
This easter was much the same...minus the setting.   I have a large family who loves being together.  Its hard to spend a day with them and not feel completely blessed.  And whether we spend it at a hotel or my dads house, the meaning of Easter remains the same.  Christ is Risen.  He humbly came to this earth and conquered sin and death.  He is preparing a place for us with no more sadness and no more tears.  The hope that comes with Easter is the hope that makes our earthly trials bearable.  Christ gives meaning to our suffering and hope in this life.
Happy Easter from the Russells...a few days late =0)