Stephen's 3 Day Progress

Here is Stephen's progress in pictures...he has come so far in 3 days!!!

4/26 This is right after his surgery...remember this is what they said looked "good"
It broke our hearts to see him this way, but Joe said it best.  For the first time his heart was keeping him alive, not drugs.

4/27  He still has the chest tubes (they are covered) but his face, though swollen, looks so much better!

4/28 Morning-all 3 chest tubes removed and the pace maker wires are in the blue gloves

4/28  Afternoon- Extubated!!!  He is now breathing on his own.

As soon as they pulled the ventilator he woke up!  It was the first time we saw his eyes since the surgery.  This evening he actually started eating aswell =0)  

4/29-  He is in our arms again!!!  Only 3 days after open heart surgery =0)  

This kid is a champ eater.  He is up to 2 ounces and as soon as the doctor says he can eat more...I am sure he will!

This has been a crazy emotional week.  I will never be able to fully describe in words what we have lived through.  Physically handing your sons life over to a surgeon was the worst and then having to wait hours to hear any news was excruciating.  Seeing what seemed to be a lifeless body on a bed after holding and feeding him only the day before was heartbreaking.  Trusting in God didn't mean we would get the outcome that we wanted and we had to be okay with that...something easy to say and very hard to live out.  We are so very grateful that God has protected his life and is speeding his recovery.   Every night we prayed we wouldn't get a phone call and every morning we were thrilled with the progress we heard.   We praised God for every bit of good news.  Seeing each line/tube be removed means we are one step closer to taking him home.  I left the house at 7 am April 5th and havent returned since.  Oh how I look forward to being back in Fallbrook =0)  We are still trying to balance out our time with Stephen and being able to see our other children.  We miss them so much...that alone has been emotionally draining.  We are so grateful for the care our family is giving them.  Knowing they are in such great hands makes being apart from them a little easier.
God has been so good to us.  He has given us everything we have needed to make it through each day.  He is teaching and molding our hearts and has drawn us closer to Him and each other.  We love this little guy so much.  He is a fighter and God has blessed us with his life.  I believe the world is more beautiful with Stephen in it =0)

Another great morning!  When Joe and I got to his room we were told that he has now been taken off all his IV meds and is switched over to oral.  They are the same medications that he will be going home on.  He is also eating like a champ!  They started him on 5mls yesterday at 8pm and were going to increase the amount allowed by 5mls every 3 hours.  By 8 am he was taking a full ounce!  And now they will increase him by 10 mls every 3 hours so lets just keep praying that he does so well!  This is such a huge blessing.  Feeding is usually the thing that holds most cardiac babies up from going home so Stephen is on a great path.   He still has a ways to go but everybody around here calls him a rockstar and they are so amazed at his progression.  You wouldn't know that he had major open heart surgery 3 days ago.  God is so good!!!  It is great being able to share with the nurses and doctors that He is the reason for his miraculous healing.  We continue to tell them of all the prayers being sent up on his behalf and how he has the greatest Healer watching over him. We have met so many amazing men and women some believers and some not.   We just pray that God continues to heal our son, astound the staff and use Stephen's heart for His glory.
Please continue to pray for no infections.  We were told to keep him in a bubble =0)  The slightest infection can cause a huge set back.
We were also told that they are going to remove the arterial line, continue to wean his oxygen and the best news...we will get to hold him!!!

Making Progress!

This morning we had such a great surprise!  The doctors took out all 3 chest tubes, the umbilical line and he will be extubated by noon!  We are praising God for such a remarkable recovery.  The doctor commented on how strong Stephen is and we told him it is the power of prayer and God that is giving our child such great strength.  To Joe and I he actually is starting to look "good".  He looks like a baby again.   He has color, he moves, and is hooked up to nearly as many lines as before.   The past 2 days have been very difficult.  Up until the surgery we were in his room every waking hour minus 20 minute for lunch and dinner.  We had him in our arms, we fed him, we read to him...we felt like parents.  The last two days we only visited him for 5-10 minutes 3 or 4 times a day.  The surgeon and nurses said it would be a good time to see our other 3 children and let him rest.  Seeing him was hard because he didn't look like my son and his body didn't look like it had life in it.  Today I was elated to see him!  He is looking more and more like himself.  He still has a ways to go, but once the ventilator is out we will get to feel like parents again.  We will get to sit and talk to him, read books, and touch his hands and feet.  Last night when I was talking with a nurse about how hard it is to not be able to physically help she reminded us of something that we can only give...love.  She can can medically speaking do more but he knows our smells and our voices and I am so ready to shower him with more love!
God is good.  We still won't ever know why we are going through this but I am grateful for each day that God gives us with our son and that he has entrusted us to be his parents while he is here on earth.  Stephen has touched my life deeply and I know God is going to use his special heart to advance His kingdom and let His glory be known.
Here are some specific prayer requests

• Please continue to pray for his recovery and that the extubation goes smoothly.  
• Pray for no infections.  As lines and tubes are pulled out there is always a risk.  
• Pray that he has no vocal cord damage.  It is a side effect of heart surgery and can complicate eating.
• Pray that he will remember how to eat.  We were so blessed that he was able to eat before surgery.  Babies have to learn how to eat and not all are fortunate enough to get to eat before surgery.  We pray that he will eat like a champ!
• And remember to PRAISE GOD for miraculous works!

Our kiddos just arrived so I am ging to go play =0)  Thank you all for your love and support.  We tell all of the doctors and nurses about the many people praying for our family.  You have such a great impact...thank you!!!!

In Him

The Russells

We just got back from seeing Stephen this morning and so far all is going well after recovering from open heart surgery.  It seems as though his body tolerated bypass pretty well which is such a blessing.  He is more swollen today, which we were warmed about, but they will be staring him on some meds to take care of that.  They also plan to slowly try to wean him off the ventilator all day today and tonight with the hope that by tomorrow he may be breathing on his own.  He is still very sedated which the nurse assured us he likes.  His numbers and stats stay better the more sleepy he is.  They had just given him more morphine before we came in so we rest assured knowing he is not in any pain.
So far we have taken a picture of him each day, a suggestion by the nurses, so that when all is said and done you can see the slow progression of his recovery.  If you remember form an earlier post I asked for prayer to not pass out when seeing all of the "stuff" that comes along with surgery, etc.  I have a long history of passing out which started with me falling to the ground at the doctors office after a finger poke, and passing out in 4th grade just looking at a picture of a test tube of blood in a textbook.  Now I don't think I am completely over my fear/anxiety, I am sure it will spring up again, but God has exceeded any expectation I had in regards to this.  I have done fine with all the "gross" tubes and even had them explain  each one.
We wanted to share the picture from yesterday, not to shock you, but to show you the reality of what our son and family are living through.  Open heart surgery is a big deal and before this we would have no clue all that goes with it.  I think we are going to wait until we can put it side by side with another one, in a week or so, so you can see the progression rather than just his current state.  I promise to title the post with a big WARNING so you won't have to look if you don't want to.
Please continue to pray for healing and strength and that by tomorrow he can be breathing on his own =0)

"The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;

he delivers them from all their troubles.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

The righteous person may have many troubles,

but the LORD delivers him from them all;

he protects all his bones, 

not one of them will be broken"

Psalm 34:17-20

Prayer Requests

Thank you for all of your prayers...we know that God is faithful and that He is the reason our precious Stephen is doing so well.  Tonight we got to see him move his little feet and hands...something so small and simple yet a small step on is road to recovery.  One of my favorite nurses is caring for him tonight.  We are so grateful for what they are doing for our son...we thank them every time we leave the room.  It pains me as a mom to not be able to physically help.  I told her tonight that I wish I could have put a bandaid over his little heart to make it all better...but that is where my expertise stops.  However today and this past week I have been reminded about the power of prayer.  I pray for each person who cares for Stephen.  I may not be able to do what they do but I can ask God to guide them as they do it.  I ask for His spirit to fill the room and for His strength to be made perfect in Stephen's weakness.  I can pray my little heart out for Stephen and in a sense be a part of his healing.  I thank you all for taking part of his recovery.  They know he is special...and we all know why =0)
Please continue to pray...
- Pray for continued healing and recovery for Stephen with no complications
- Pray for the doctors and nurses who are giving him care.  Pray that God would continue to use their passion and skill to help our son and that His spirit would move in their hearts.
-Pray that Joe and I can be a witness in this NICU.  We have loved all of the nurses, doctors and surgeons we have met...what a joy it would be for them to know Christ =0)
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!

Psalm 100

"Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. 

Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. 

 Know that the LORD is God. 

It is he who made us, and we are his; 

we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. 

 Enter his gates with thanksgiving 

and his courts with praise;

 give thanks to him and praise his name. 

 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;

his faithfulness continues through all generations"

Surgery Update

Praise God he is out of surgery!!!  Today has been rough but we have so much to be grateful for.  Joe and I went into his room at 6am and held him until 7:30 when we got the call they were ready for him.  We went down to pre-op and then had to say goodbye before he went into the OR.  Giving him the last kiss and watching him be wheeled away broke our hearts.  My eyes are seriously swollen from the tears and prayers.  We received a call at 12:30 that he was taken off the bypass machine and 45 minutes later we met with the surgeon.  It was the first time we were able to somewhat relax and even smile.  The surgery went well, no complications... seriously praise God!  He even came out of the OR with his chest closed which is extremely rare.  We were told that only about 10% come back that way and most remain open for the first 2 days.  Our God is so good and we know he listened to our cries.
We were just able to see him.  To us he looks like a lifeless body, but every nurse, doctor and respiratory therapist kept saying how good he looks and that they never see a baby look this good so soon.  Now remember, good to them and good to a normal person is much different.  He is still completely sedated and will remain so for at least 12-24 more hours.  He is on a ventilator, has drainage tubes coming out of his chest, IV lines, pace maker wires, monitors, you name it he is hooked to it.  He has 3 nurses with him at all times as well as a cardiologist, respiratory therapist and a neonatalogist checking in on him constantly.  We can't thank them enough for the amazing care they are giving our son.  As hard as it was to see him in this state, we know that is the beginning of him getting better.
Stephen still has a long road to recovery.  It can be overwhelming at times to think about all that is left.  The next 24-48 hours are crucial and anything can happen at any moment.  We still have weeks ahead of us in the hospital and 2 more open heart surgeries.  But we are choosing to be grateful for the present.  We are more than thrilled for today.  We are thankful for our time now and will keep praying that tomorrow brings us one step closer to taking him home.
Thank you all for your faithful prayers.  Please continue them.  We want the doctors and nurses to know that our God is the mighty healer and he is why Stephen has been so special.  Please pray for all of those giving him care and for his little body.  That it would heal, and that piece by piece the tubes, lines, drugs, etc will be removed.

"Yes my soul, find rest in God;

my hope comes from him.

Truly he is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;

he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all times, you people;

pour out your hearts to him,

for God is our refuge.

One thing God has spoken,

two things I have heard:

'Power belongs to you, God,

and with you, LORD, is unfailing love"

Psalm 62:5-8, 11-12a

Thanks be to God for holding Stephen in his hands and for giving him life today.

I have no words...please pray

Psalm 61

"Hear my cry, O God;
   listen to my prayer.

 From the ends of the earth I call to you,
   I call as my heart grows faint;
   lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
   a strong tower against the foe.

 I long to dwell in your tent forever
   and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
For you, God, have heard my vows;
   you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.

Increase the days of the king’s life,
   his years for many generations.
May he be enthroned in God’s presence forever;
   appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him.

Then I will ever sing in praise of your name
   and fulfill my vows day after day"

As of right now there is still no news with Stephen.  He is doing great and as the surgery date is only a day away I am too emotional to talk about it...so I won't.  Instead I am going to tell you how amazing my husband is =0)  I always new Joe was a good guy.  From the second I met him I thought he was too good for me...true story.  But seriously Joe is incredible.  He is such a loving and caring husband and father.  He goes out of his way to make sure I am ok and always wants the best for me  He protects me and makes me feel safe.  Going through this sucks but having him by my side the entire time has made it easier.  God has blessed me with Joe.  
Joe is also an incredible father.  He loves our kids.  It hurts him right now to be away from Michael, Lizzie and Audrey.  He knows Stephen needs us now, but he wants the kids to know how much he loves and cares for them.  I love that about him.  He is so involved in their lives and his priority has always been to put our family first.  His love for them warms my heart.
I am grateful for the man he is.  He is not perfect...but he is perfect for me =0)

Surgery Scheduled

We finally have a surgery date...Thursday April 26th at 8:00 am.  Today we sat down with a Physician's Assistant to discuss the procedure and sign consent forms.  We were reminded again about what a delicate surgery this is going to be.  His heart is about the size of his fist and they basically have to reconstruct the way it functions.  The procedure can take anywhere from 6-10 hours so they are blocking out the day for him.  His little body will have to be cooled down and he will be put on a bypass machine while they operate on his heart.  Please pray that the surgery goes smoothly and quickly.  The less time he is on bypass the better.  Bypass is rough on their little bodies and can lead to so many further complications.  Also pray that the surgery is effective and that he would have a speedy recovery.  We are constantly reminded that the first 24 hours after are a very crucial time.  The more prayers being lifted up the better.  He will have a long way to go and we will need to take the recovery phase one step at a time.  He will come back hooked up to more machines, tubes and drugs than one could imagine and the goal will be to slowly but surely take them each away.  Best case scenario is that he will be home 4 weeks after the operation.
Pray also for Joe and I.  We will be with him all the way to pre-op where we meet the anesthesiologist, and sign even more papers, and then he will be wheeled away.  I can't yet imagine what that is going to feel like but I am tearing up at just the thought.  We will be able to see him a few hours after he gets back to his room which will be pretty tough to handle.  We have already seen pictures which will take some of the shock away, but looking at a still picture of a stranger compared to your own son in real life will I am sure be much different.
Thank you for your prayers, they mean the world to us.  We pray for life for Stephen and that God would use his special heart for His glory.

"The LORD is righteous in all his ways

and faithful in all he does.

The LORD is near to all who call on him,

to all who call on him in truth.

He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;

he hears their cry and saves them.

The LORD watches over all who love him"

Psalm 145:17-20a

4/22/2012

I am glad to say that there is nothing new to post.  Things are still the same around here and most likely will remain so until he gets a surgery date.  We are told it will most likely be this week so we will see.  Stephen is looking adorable as ever.  The nurses just love this little guy...and so do we =0)
We have met some amazing people, are receiving the best care, and are so grateful for all of the prayers being said on our behalf.  It is hard to know the the worst is yet to come but witha face like this...how can one no enjoy the present.

Daddy Feeding the Little Guy

Love That Face  =0)

Today was one of those good days on the emotional roller coaster.  This morning was a little tough, hence the earlier post with all of my feelings.  But there was a lot of smiling and cuddling that makes up for the hard times.  Stephen is eating so well and even nursed today.  This little guy is amazing.  I absolutely adore looking into his eyes and could stare at him forever.  
Another highlight of the day was Michael getting to feed Stephen a whole bottle.  He didn't hold him, I did, but his face was precious.  He was so excited.  He kept telling me how much he loves his brother and how much his brother loves him.  I am telling you the boy was giddy and I wish I had a video camera.  Seeing our children pour out so much love on their brother is just the best.
We are learning the balance of being with Stephen and making sure our 3 other kids feel loved and a part of all of this.  So far they have visited him all but the day he was born and will come back tomorrow for some more little brother love.  Joe and I appreciate the time we have been able to have with them too.  We try to plan it around a meal so it isn't too much extra time away from the hospital.
The Ronald McDonald House has been such a blessing.  This place is seriously amazing and in the future I fully intend on volunteering here as a family.  We have a great room and 3 meals (most days) for only $15 a day.  The have an outside play yard and basketball court which our kids never want to leave and an inside playroom with train tables, toys, books, etc.  There is a TV Room, chapel, Gym, hair salon, school room, free laundry, etc.  This place has it all and is a 5 minute walk form our room to Stephen's room.  I am so thankful for this charity and the blessing it is to our family.

Before I head off to bed I wanted to share this passage I read the other morning...

"Therefore since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to emphasize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet he did not sin.  Let us then approach God's throne with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need"  Hebrews 4:14-16

With much Love and Hope

Kim

Yesterday

I spent most of yesterday in the room with Stephen so I didn't find any time to post about the day.  Yesterday one of the lines through his umbilical cord was taken out so we were able to begin feeding him.  He did so great.  He took an ounce the first time, 2 the second and 1 more before I said goodnight.  He is such a sweet little boy.  The nurses just love his full head of blonde hair and how mellow he is which is, surprising due to the medication he is on.
This has been such an emotional roller coaster.  At times I am able to just sit and truly enjoy my son.  Being able to hold him and feed him has made it all feel more real and me feel more like a mom to him.  I am so grateful that he is stable and doing so well and that we have this precious time him.  But there are the other times when you realize this "stable" baby is being kept alive through an IV.  Stephen would not be able to live right now on his own and the realization of that is more than my heart can handle.  Joe and  I know that he has to get a lot worse before he can truly get better.  Our little baby will have to undergo full blown open heart surgery.  How do you prepare for that?  How do you give over his life to someone else's care?  It hurts every night I have to leave him when he is doing so well, how will it be when he is not?  We have been told that there will be ups and downs.  He will take 1 step forward and 2 steps backward.  We will want to know if he is going to make it, and they will not be able to give us an answer.  Only time will tell.  There are so many different variables and possibilities that predicting an outcome will be impossible.
I know all of the "answers".  He is God's child and he been entrusted and gifted to us.  God has a perfect plan for him.  God cares more for him than we could ever know or understand.  God can heal him.  God can use this for his glory.  All of this we "know" but I can promise you that knowing it and living through it are not the same.  Before Stephen was born I didn't daily meditate on the fact that my children are god's children and that it is he who is holding them in his arms.  I didn't need to because I felt more in control of their lives.  I dress them, feed them, play with the them, coach them, etc.  With Stephen's life I have very little control.  I can't give him all the care he needs.  I can't fix his heart or sustain his life.  I can't even be there physically with him all of the time.  Every day I understand what it means that his life is not mine alone.  Every day I thank God for my time with him and plead with God to give me more.  Every day I struggle with the possibility of death...every day.   God has given me what I need for each day.  He gives me peace, he gives me hope, but that doesn't take away the painful reality that because of sin there is pain and death and that even babies suffer those consequences.  I don't blame God.  I know he is sovereign and I know he is with me.  I know that death ultimately brings life to those who believe.  I know he will walk us through whatever outcome may come our way.  I know a lot but I have never had to live out the reality of it before.
As of now there is no schedule date for his surgery.  They said it will most likely not be before Monday but would probably be sometime next week.  We were told that we will most likely only be given 12-24 hours notice.  They don't want to do the surgery too early.  They want to give their lungs time to adjust, etc.  And they don't want to wait too long because other side effects begin to kick in.  So they monitor him and look for signs that signal it is time and then they do it.
So please continue to pray for us all.  The kids seem to be handling it very well.  They love heir brother.  Michael and Lizzie even got to help feed him a bottle which was so fun to watch their excitement.  Audrey just adores Stephen.  I look forward to the day when she can hold him in her arms.
And please continue to pray for Stephen's life.  We pray that death isn't an option and that he will love a long life to the glory of God.
And pray for our hearts.  This is one of the hardest thing a parent can ever go through.
Thank You =0)

In Our Arms

I forgot to mention that the respirator was removed at 12:30 am Thursday morning which meant by the evening we were able to hold our son.  We were both ecstatic!  It is a little tricky holding a baby with all of the cords and lines but our nurse was great and we were game for the challenge.  The hardest part was giving him up to go to bed tonight...I could have stayed there forever.
He still has not been able to eat yet but we are hoping that will come soon.  For now they give him electrolytes and lipids through an umbilical cord line.
There is still no date set for surgery.  My heart is torn on this.  Part of me wants it to come so the anticipation and waiting will be over but the other part wants it to be put off forever.  There is no guarantee any surgeon, doctor or nurse can give that he will make it or that the surgery will work.  It is so hard to look at your baby, who at the moment is stable and fine, and know that in a day, an hour, a minute, it can all be taken away.  So much rides on this first surgery so please pray fervently that he is strong enough to make it through and that there will be no complications in the procedure or his recovery.

Here are a few more pictures of some very happy parents =0)

A Day In Photos

Family of Six

The Russell Family

Today was another long day.  I was able to get over and visit Stephen for a few hours before they discharged me from the hospital around 4.  He is still stable and doing well.  He is on the lowest setting on the respirator and will hopefully have it removed tomorrow...we shall see.   The best part of the day watching the kids meet their brother for the first time.  We had pre-warned them about the wires, etc and even showed them a picture of him before bringing them in.  It was great.  They new that he was okay and that he was just being monitored.  They all got to touch him but Audrey sure liked it the most =0)  They didn't want to leave but we promised they could come back tomorrow. 

Here are a few pictures of the kiddos and their baby brother 

On another note we had a huge praise.  After being told there was no room at the Ronald McDonald house we received a call at 5pm saying they had an opening for us!  It worked out so well.  This place is amazing!  As soon as our kids walked in the door they were given gifts...I couldn't believe it.  Lizzie and Audrey got Build A Bears and Michael got some cool shoes and glasses.  The facility has a great outside play area with scooters, bikes, basketball hoops, etc.  They had so much fun playing!  We ended the night appropriately with Happy Meals =0)  This will be a great place for them to come and visit us and maybe even eventually stay a few nights.

Please continue to pray for the surgery and recovery.  The hardest part to deal with is the fact that it doesn't matter how well he is doing now.  We were told his condition before surgery is not an accurate predictor of how he will do during or after the procedure.  That was tough to hear because we want to grasp at any hope we can.  The thought of loosing him is unbearable.  It kills us knowing we have to hand him over soon to an unknown outcome.  I know God is in control of all things but that doesn't guarantee us the answer we so desperately pray for.  I am not saying this being we feel hopeless or pessimistic but to share with you the reality we are living with.  So please continue to get on your knees before our heavenly father and ask that he protect Stephen.  Pray that he will remain stable, be able to fully breathe on his own, begin eating and get to be held by his mommy and daddy.  And pray for that future surgery...that it would result in the best case scenario and that Stephen will get to live a full life.

In Him,

The Russells

Afternoon Update

I haven't had a chance to see Stephen today yet but hopefully I will be going there in the next hour.  Joe has been with him since the morning and will hopefully wheel me over to visit before I get discharged around 3 or 4.  We got a call just after midnight last night that he was having a little trouble taking deep breaths.  It was not completely unexpected.  He had a lot of fluid in his lungs which is why they were slightly collapsed and why they were giving him some oxygen to help them expand.  Instead of keeping him on just the oxygen they put him on a respirator.   He is still doing most of his breathing in his own but the respirator takes care of about 10 of his breaths per minute.  So far they haven't ran anymore tests today and may even postpone them until tomorrow since he is doing fine.  The cardiologists and surgeons meet every Thursday night to discuss their cases so they just need to check the brain and kidneys before that point.  From there they will most likely schedule his surgery but we were reminded that if he is doing well his surgery date could change if they get a baby in who is worse off.
He hasn't been able to eat yet but is getting every thing he needs from the IV fluids.  He will first have to build those lungs up before they will start giving him any feedings.
We are not able to get into the Ronald McDonald house today...such a bummer.  They are completely full right now.  Things could change tomorrow or next week but as for now I am looking into hotel options.
We are also hoping our kids will get to meet him today.  I am so excited for them to see their brother =0)
We will let you know how things go and hopefully post some more pictures later today.
In Him
Kim

Stephen's Birth Day

First off...thank you for all your prayers.  I don't doubt that they are the reason today went so smoothly.

Stephen Joseph Russell was born at 3:56 pm, 8 lbs 2 oz and 20.5 inches long. 

 It was a slow process to get settled in and induced into labor...but boy once they did it went by so fast it has us all laughing.  I went from 5cm to 10cm in about 15 minutes.  They were literally checking minute by minute because it went that fast.  The was a team of 9 people who joined us for the delivery so I had a lot of cheerleaders  =0)  My doctor, Dr Sean Daneshamand, was amazing.  He made Joe and I so comfortable and was the perfect doctor to have in the room.  He was calm and so encouraging.  He made me smile and laugh, and given the situation, that was what I needed.  He is the founder of a great organization, Miracle Babies, that provides education and financial support to families with newborns in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.  

www.miraclebabies.org  (check it out)

The Sharp NICU team stabilized Stephen in our room and I was able to hold him long enough for Joe to say a prayer and me to give him a kiss.  Joe went along with the transport team the Radys Children's Hospital were they then put line in through his umbilical cord, took X-rays and performed an echo (ultrasound) on his heart.  The diagnosis is exactly what we were told in utero.  He is doing very well and for now is stable.  It is hard to believe that the picture below means stable...but it does.  The oxygen over his nose is to help his lungs expand a little more and the tube in his mouth is to take the air out of his stomach.  He is fully breathing on his own =0) The rest of the tubes are monitors all over him to watch his vitals and an iv in his little hand.  He has not started feeding yet...but hopefully he can tomorrow.  Tomorrow they will also be checking his brain and kidneys by ultrasound and running more x-rays.  And I am hoping that Joe will soon get to hold him too.  We both miss that cuddle time and the joy of having them sleep on our chest.
There is no date for surgery just yet.  Because he is doing well they would like to keep him this way until possibly early next week so he can begin feeding and have his lungs expand a little more.
I think Joe and I are doing ok.  Our way of coping today was to just not think about it.  If we did we wanted to cry.  I basically wanted to cry all day but tonight when they wheeled me over to see him it just warmed my heart.  He is adorable under all of those cords.  He has a head full of blonde hair and makes the cutest little noises.  Even though I can't hold him I could sit there forever just looking at him and holding his tiny hand.
Please pray for wisdom for the doctors and nurses as they care for him.
Pray for our kiddos...we are hoping they get to meet him tomorrow =0)

Pray for Joe and I.  Today was exhausting.  I know we need rest physically but today was emotionally draining and it is only the beginning.

And or course please continue to pray for this little guy.  The hardest part has yet to come.

Thank you for all of your kind words and support.      
Your messages are so encouraging...they truly make us feel loved.

Much Love, The Russells

The Big Day

Today was a bitter sweet day.  It is the last day we spent together as a family of five.  We took the kiddos miniature golfing, played at a park and topped it off with IN-N-Out.  The time we had together here has been so special to me.  Joe just left to drive them back home and I haven't been able to stop crying.  I miss them like crazy already.  My heart is broken right now.  I hate saying goodbye to my kids.  They have so many questions about what is going going on and when they will get to meet their brother, see mom and dad, etc.  I know they will be fine but a mother's heart can't help but worry for them.  I don't want them to be scared or worried or sad.  I want to protect them, hold them, love them.  I want to be there for them.  But right now I have to be here...and that hurts me.
I am also anxious about tomorrow.  Regardless of Stephen's condition being induced is a nerve racking thing.  Showing up to a hospital asking them to put you in pain is an odd concept.  The process of labor, delivery and recovery is not something I ever look forward to.  It hurts.  Right now I am scared.  I know God is with me and will give me what I need, but that doesn't mean I am not broken on my knees crying out to him.   This isn't easy.  We have made it to this point by his grace and I know he will continue to lift us up, but it won't be easy.
I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring.  We are checking in at 6:45am and around 7:30 or so they will begin the process.  I don't know what it will be like when he is born or how I will feel when they take him away.  I imagine my heart will hurt much like it does right now.
Please pray for all of us.
I hate needles, blood, and hospitals in general, so please pray for strength to make it through.
Pray for peace rather than anxiety and trust rather than fear.
Pray for Joe.  I don't always know what goes on in a mans head but they have a beautiful innate desire to protect.  I know it is hard for him to see me in pain or watch me hurt.  Pray for his heart as well and that God will give him exactly what he needs to be there for us all.
Pray for my kids.  That they too will be prepared for whatever is to come.
Pray for Stephen.  More than anything pray for life.  Whether through miraculous healing or guiding the hands of the doctors...pray that our son will live.
Thank you again for your care.  There are so many people praying.  Family, good friends, churches and people who we have never met but have a love for God and a heart for our family.  THANK YOU!!!
Your prayers right now are the greatest gifts ou can give.
I will try to give some updates tomorrow...but can make no promises.
"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you" Psalm 33:20-22
With Much Love and Hope,
Kim

Psalm 121

"I lift my eyes to the mountains-
where does my help come from?
My help comes form the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip-
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you-
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you form all harm-
he will watch over you life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore".

God's Plan

Okay, I am sorry for the lack of the post I promised but I have been too tired to type and my brain just couldn't come up with words.  Basically God is good =0)  He knows exactly what we need and has been taking care of us down to the details.  We ended up at at a different hotel than we were planning on staying at due to the earlier relocation.  Finding a hotel with availability in San Diego right in the middle of spring break was not an easy task.  The only room open was a 2 bedroom suite for $200 a night.  No we are not rich...but we needed a place to sleep so we took it.  It is the perfect set up for our family.  We have a full kitchen, 2 separate bedrooms and a living room.  The plan was to stay here 6 nights until our original reservations in Mission Valley and then pack up and move hotels for a cheaper 1 bedroom room.
So here is where God comes in.  A good friend of our from church actually knows the general manager at the hotel we are staying at.  She took the time to come down here and speak with him on our behalf.  I can only begin to tell you what a blessing that was.  He gave us a discounted rate of only $100 per night!!!  Not only that but they had no availability for Friday night in the 2 bedroom (we had originally only booked 6 nights) so they called their other reservations and moved people around so we wouldn't have to leave our room.  They have been so good to our family.  We have already spent 9 nights here...2 more to go!  What could have been a cramped, stressful situation has turned out to be a nice little retreat with some good quality time spent together as a family.
Joe and I have so appreciated the time we have had with our kids.  We are going to miss them so much over the next month.  Once Stephen is born we are hoping to stay at the Ronald McDonald House and our kids will be back in Fallbrook staying with family.  Yes they will be able to visit us but it won't be the same to only see them for a few hours at a time.  The fact that we have had these past 10 days together has been so nice.  God knows what we need when we need it.  He as been preparing all of us for these events and he has taken care of us.  Had I not had to come down early I would have spent the past week trying desperately  to organize everything.  I had big plans to clean out the entire garage =0)  Instead I rested... and I don't doubt that rest was exactly what I needed.  Not being able to pack my own bags wasn't easy but it showed me that others are more than capable and willing to help out.
God knows what we need best.  I would have thought I needed to get things done.  A Costco trip, cleaning, organizing, packing, arranging...those were my plans.  Learning to rest and trust was God's plan.  I think he was right =0)

Doing Fine

I am often asked "how are you doing?" and generally the answer is "I am doing fine".   "Fine" in the last week of pregnancy means my feet are swollen, my ribs are bruised, my back aches, I get about 4 hours of sleep per night and go to the bathroom every 3 or 4 minutes...but I am fine =0)  Anyone who has ever carried a child knows what I am talking about!  God gives you 9 months to prepare yourself for your baby.  Labor never seems like much fun so as the day approaches you think "maybe they could stay in here just a little longer".  So to make it easier he allows you to be so uncomfortable and sleep deprived that almost anything sounds better than this child continuing to grow inside of you.  With that said I am definitely looking forward to Stephen's arrival and to have his cute little feet not play footsies with my ribs.
Today I had my last OB appointment.  Is was short and sweet.  The doctor shook my hand and congratulated me for having not had him yet...if that makes sense.  He was certain he would have been here by now.  I asked about bedrest and he seems to think at this point it is up to me.  If I want to try to have him stay put until Tuesday he suggests I continue to lie around but Stephen would be fine if he was born now.  Tomorrow marks 11 days before his due date which is the same time our little Audrey decided to come out and surprise us.  I know he will be big enough and developed enough, but there is something about the scheduled induction that seems easier.  Logistically we would have childcare set and the entire team of doctors would be prepared to receive him, etc.  If if wants to pop out in the middle of the night I can't do much about it but it sure would be a lot crazier...which is exactly why I am convinced he will come at 2 in the morning on a weekend.  Why take the easy route when you can continue to give your mom and dad a run for their money?
I have my last non stress test and ultrasound tomorrow and then we just wait.  The anticipation kills me.  Last night I had dreams I was in labor and I actually woke up having contractions...that made sleeping impossible.  Today I had Joe a little worried when I went well over an hour having contractions every 4 minutes.  I thought nothing of it.  I have just gotten used to it by now.  I have them every day, they get a little stronger, but then they go away.  I think he just likes messing with me =0)
Tomorrow I hope to share a very cool story about how God has clearly been orchestrating our stay here...so stay tuned.
Please continue to pray for the delivery, whenever it may be.  Pray that it is an uneventful, surprise free delivery with no stress on baby and an easy recovery for mom.
Thank you all for you love and encouragement.  Your comments, emails and messages are a blessing...and your prayers are lifting us up.

Thankful Hearts

Today I had another appointment, nothing has changed, but I do not have to go in tomorrow!  Woo Hoo!  A day off =0)  I decided this whole hotel thing would be so much more fun if I was allowed to get up and do things.  I do go places and sit, so that is nice, but I miss being active.  I sit by the pool and watch them swim or at the park and watch them swing.  All of this watching and no playing is hard on a mom.  I am kind of excited for the rain tomorrow.  I look forward to sitting in the room and playing board games, reading books and watching movies.  I am so grateful though to have my kids with me.  Even if I can't be a part of everything just being together as a family is a huge blessing.  It warms my heart to see them have such a good time.  In their minds we are on some awesome vacation not cooped up in some random hotel...I love that =0)
Joe and I also want to thank everyone who sent down food and gifts from our church tonight.  We don't know names but we are so grateful for everything you have provided.  I cried as I opened an anonymous gift, read sweet cards and saw the boxes of food that were unpacked.  We feel incredibly supported by so many people.  Thank You!  The love, support and prayers truly lift us up and encourage us.  Words can only begin to express our thankfulness.  Thank you for caring for us, for our family, and for our son Stephen.  I feel so much more optimistic and ready to take on this challenge.  I can't believe that in a week he will be here...if he holds out until then.  I know it will be scary but right now I am just excited to finally see his face, kiss his forehead and touch his little fingers =0)
Thank you for you continued prayers.
~The Russells

Happy Easter!

We just wanted to give a little update and wish you all a Happy Easter!  Today was a good day.  We had an egg hunt, went swimming and had almost my entire side of the family down for Easter dinner.  (Don't worry I sat/laid down the entire time)  Easter in a hotel was a different experience but it sure worked out.
I did have to go into the hospital for some monitoring and luckily was released.  What should have taken 20-30 minutes took over 2 hours but honestly I expected that.  I was contracting again, and most likely am now, but I don't feel them and they aren't progressing labor.  So they sent me back to the hotel on bedrest with instructions to only get up to go to the bathroom.  While I am taking it very easy... their instructions are a little impossible.  It looks like I will have to go back again tomorrow.  I am just going to go ahead and assume I will be going in every day until Stephen makes an appearance; another reason I am grateful to be so close by the hospital now =0)  The strange thing is I have been so worried about not going into labor that I forgot I am scheduled to be induced in only 9 more days.  9 more days?  Part of me wishes I could put it off forever and the other part is so excited to finally meet this little guy.  The end of this crazy pregnancy is near and the beginning of a whole new journey is right around the corner.
The kiddos are all feeling so much better and they are handling of this very well.  They came into my appointment for a little bit and listened to their brothers heart beat.  They have such a love for him.  It is so sweet and so innocent.
We hope you all had a very blessed Easter.  He is Risen!
With Much Love and Hope,
The Russells

Resting

We are finally out of the hospital and in a hotel!  Though I would rather be at home...this sure beats a labor and delivery bed!  Today went very well.  My doctor came by and visited in the morning and agreed that an amnio and induction weren't necessary since the contractions have been slowing down.  I am now on bedrest at a nearby hotel until further notice.  They want me to come into the hospital on Easter for more monitoring and then I have appointments in the doctors office on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday next week.  Please pray that I don't get admitted on Easter.  I fear I will be contracting when I go in and have the same thing happen again.  It would be nice to get to have the day with my family.
Also pray for our kiddos.  Two of them have colds right now and they are going to be staying with us in the hotel starting tomorrow.  It would be great if they can get well and not pass it along to us =0)

On a side note we had some great conversations with doctors, nurses and hospital staff about God.   One of my doctors even asked for prayer for a family member.  This situation hasn't been easy but we have seen God's work at hand and that has been an encouragement to Joe and I.

We have recently been asked how people can financially help.  I feel awkward writing this but we have been asked multiple times and someone suggested that we make the information available on the blog...so here you go =0)
Our church has set up medical fund for Stephen to help cover the cost of our high deductible and other expenses that go along with it such as our now lengthy hotel stay.  If you would like to contribute to that fund checks can me made out to REFC with Stephen Joseph in the memo and sent to
Riverview Evangelical Free Church
2980 Sweetgrass Lane
Bonsall, CA 92003

Once again thank you for your prayers.  We really felt them while in the hospital.  I don't doubt that they are why the contractions just stopped and conversations were presented.
In Him,
Kim

Slowing Down

Well this has been a long day...a crazy long day =0)  Basically I was contracting during a normal office visit so they sent me over to the hospital to be monitored further.  At that point I was having contractions every 5 minutes but I didn't feel a thing.  The doctor came, did an exam, and then wanted to do an amnio to check for lung maturity. If everything checked out they wanted to begin inducing me at 3 am.   Anyone who knows me knows I hate needles and the thought of a big one in my stomach was not appealing.  I did however agree to go along with it but as luck would have it, or my prayers, Stephen was not in a favorable position so he choose to reschedule for tomorrow morning.  At one point he said they would most likely induce either way.  There was question of amniotic fluid, my fast labors, Stephen's condition, etc.  Honestly I love this doctor and do trust him... but I questioned him...of course.  I would prefer Stephen to come on his own time when he is ready.  Either way they wanted me to stay over night.   Seeing as though I was not prepared and hadn't even showered today I asked if I could first go home and get some things together and come back...he laughed and said no.  =0)
Joe arrived shortly after all this decision making and I was moved up to labor and delivery.   I was feeling pretty normal for awhile.  Contractions shortened to every 4 minutes and then at one point they were intense enough to notice and continued every 1 to 3 minutes for a good hour or so stretch.  I was never in labor, but it seemed to be progressing there very fast.  Praise God I remained only 2 cm dilated and for the past few hours the contractions have for the most part stopped...thank you for your prayers.  He had the delivery nurse certain he was on his way...and she was shocked when it just stopped.
They would still like to do an amnio in the morning, but if labor has stopped I think I may pass.   At the very least they will want me to book a hotel and stay down here now.  Financially I am not thrilled, but after today I can see the value in it.
Stephen holds a special place in my heart.  He gave me a scare today but he also made me laugh.    Who knows what he is up to.
The are giving me a break from all of the machines right now.  I will be hooked up again at ten tonight and then once more in the morning.  I don't know what the doctors will be thinking from there.  Please pray for wisdom for everyone involved and that Stephen remains strong and healthy.
We will keep you informed...but hopefully things can stay quite around here a little longer.
Much Love
Kim

In the Hospital

Well today I went down for a non stress test and ended up in the hospital.  It looks like Stephen may be coming a little earlier than expected.  I was contracting every 5 minutes on the monitor so at the very least I am being kept overnight.  Right now the contractions are 4 minutes apart and I can finally feel them...it may be the real thing.  Please pray for us.  This was once again not the plan.  I feel like I have been so flexible with this entire situation but I really didn't expect this.   I am only 37 weeks and 2 days.  The good news is that he is measuring around 7 pounds 7 ounces.  Please pray that he is healthy and strong.  He is going to need to endure so much his first weeks of life.  Pray for this labor, if it is what this is, that it would go smoothly.  Obviously this is overwhelming, so please pray for peace through the chaos.
We hope to keep you updated.
PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!