New Date on the Calendar

A friend gave this to me the night before we
got the new date...how perfect, and beautiful, is this!!!
And she MADE it...SO talented!  

Man, I didn't realize how odd it would be to have a surgery postponed.  It's strange really.  For so long I feel like "normal" life has been 1/2 put on hold and 1/2 still here.  We can't do the normal social things, but we still have to shop and eat etc.  It's been interesting.  A friend put it best when asking me how it feels...it's like we are just floating.  We are here (sort of) but not here too.  Life is moving, but not much is happening.  I don't know.  But the wait for a date is over.  July 31st it is.

The date didn't come easy.  As expected, I didn't receive a call last week, and I was trying to be patient, but caved and called on Tuesday.  She said she saw she needed to reschedule Stephen and would give me a call tomorrow (which was yesterday).  I honestly didn't even expect a call that day, but at 4:30 she called and threw me way off.  The date they were going to give us was August 20th.  Seriously, I was shocked.  I mean waiting has already not been ideal, but then postponing for 8 weeks seemed exceptionally long...especially when he is perfectly HEALTHY right now.  I mean August 20th...that gives him SO much time to get "sick" again!

I expressed my concerns, which were mainly even if he were to get sick again what is next...another 8 weeks?!  That would put us into cold/flu season and NOPE not doing that unless it is deemed medically necessary.  SO, she offered me a sooner date, July 31st with the catch that he has to be the 2nd surgical case of the day...not ideal.  UGH...my heart broke.  Last night I just felt like crying.  Look, it may not seem like much, but life has been off lately.  A lot of crazy anticipation and waiting, and well, floating.  So hearing that he would be second case just deflated me.

Why you may ask?  First case is always ideal.  Sure you have to check into the hospital at 5:30 am, but you do so with a drowsy kid who isn't even hungry yet.  And you generally start on time.  Which means he only has to make it to 7:30 without eating...not hard at all.  2nd case...that's a different story.  2nd case means he can't eat solids after 6am.  So we still need to wake him up at 5 so he can eat, but then he gets no more food.  He also has to stop all liquids at 10:30 am for a (hopefully) 12:30 start time.  And that's the other thing...the start time can easily vary based on the first case.

For example, Stephen's cath lab in May went longer than planned for with the extra work they found. That meant the next case was pushed back.  The longer it is pushed back the longer he goes without being able to eat or drink.  He will also be VERY aware of what is about to happen.  And this time we can't even go into the operating room with him (it is an even more sterile environment than the cath lab....and rightfully so!)  =(  That means my hungry, thirsty 6 year old will have to be wheeled back into the OR alone...cue tears.

Look, I know I am being dramatic.  I know many kids have done this, and they survived.  I know he will even do better than I expect.  But that doesn't mean my mama's heart doesn't break a little more knowing that he has to go through a little more.  I would take this entire operation off his plate if I could, but I can't.  And I know how truly small this problem is compared to some BIG problems other kiddos are facing.  SO, I am going to keep counting my blessings and try to make it through the hard days ahead.

That being said, we took the night to process it, and I called back this morning and asked for the July 31st date.  As much as a first case surgery would be ideal, the July date works SO much better for us, and potentially offers a little more wiggle room is anything shall come up to postpone it again.

Commence Lock Down.  We are going to try to spend the majority of the next 2 1/2 weeks at home.  That means more missed birthday parties, soccer practices, friends houses, cousins etc.  But, on the bright side, it will hopefully mean some sweet sibling time.  I am going to try to make the most of it for the kiddos, while also trying to clean/organize bit!  So hopefully we will be sleeping in a tent in the backyard, enjoying a couple more World Cup matches, playing new board games, watching new movies, crafting it up and hopefully make some fun memories in the process.

And luckily, before lock down began, we got to enjoy a night at church where Stephen got to see some pretty awesome animals, hold a snake, and take a picture with Paco the Sloth! And sport his awesome new Vogmask...bc there was like 70 kids in there and I wasn't going to chance anything!

Prayers for our health, our hearts and our precious Stephen are greatly appreciated.  We know God's hand is in all of this.  We know He will continue to use Stephen's special heart for His Glory, and we are grateful for that!

Jesus, we trust in you!