A year ago today...

A year ago today Joe and I woke up and didn't say a word.  Before we left our room at 5:51 in the morning I typed the shortest post ever on this blog "I have no words...please pray".  We hardly slept the night before and wanted to be in Stephen's room extra early.

A year ago today we held Stephen as close as possible.  Joe and I took our turns with him in our arms.  We held him, kissed him and spent time just looking at him trying to soak up every detail from his fingers to his toes.

A year ago today doctors and anesthesiologist came by our little room and explained to us the surgical procedures and all of the potential risks associated with it.  Though we had heard them before, the reality of them sunk in as we signed paper after paper.

A year ago today we got the call from the OR...it was time.  We quietly followed behind our son as the nurses wheeled him through halls and down elevators.

A year ago today Joe and I had kiss our baby goodbye not knowing if he would return.

A year ago today we handed over our child.  We had to put our confidence in the surgeon and his team and our hope and trust in God.

A year ago today I had to wait.  I cried and prayed for hours.  I prayed for every person in that operating room and that God's spirit would fill it completely.   I cried at the thought of Stephen lying there still and unaware of what was going on.  I prayed that God would guide the hands of the surgeon and that He would work through him to help our son.  I cried at the thought of what was being done to him and prayed for angels to surround him.  I prayed and cried until I fell asleep in Joe's arms and then I prayed and cried some more.  I prayed that we wouldn't get a call too early...that nothing would go wrong.  I cried at the thought of losing Stephen and prayed to God for his life.

A year ago today the wait was over.  We received the call that he was out of surgery and that the surgeon would be meeting with us shortly.  We smiled, hugged and anxiously went to the waiting room.

A year ago today I looked into the eyes of the man that saved my sons life.  The surgery went smoothly and Stephen came out of the OR with his chest closed...almost unheard of.  I was so grateful. He said we weren't in the clear yet and that the next 24 hours would be telling...but that so far everything looked good.

A year ago today I braced myself as I walked into my sons room not fully knowing what to expect.  On our way in the doctors and nurses said he looked great..."great" looked near death to me.

A year ago today our son went from this...

                          to this...

A year ago today we felt relief.  We praised God that he was out of surgery and already doing so well. We were physically and emotionally drained.  We felt relieved to be back with him and that the worst was now over.

A year ago today I relied on God in ways I never had to before.  I  understood what it meant that He was my refuge, my fortress and my rock.  I poured my heart out to him and he heard my cries.

A year ago today was the hardest day of my life.

It is a hard day to reflect upon because it was so painful.  But today I sit here in a hotel room so grateful and amazed at what a difference a year has made.  A year ago today Stephen was sedated with so many wires, tubes and lines coming out of him...and today...Today he is this bright eyed handsome little boy who is so full of joy and has a smile that lights up a room.

We want to thank you all for the prayers that have covered our son on this journey.  God has blessed us through them...thank you!  We are so appreciative of all of you!!!

God Bless!!!

Happy Birthday Buddy!!!

Dear Stephen,
Words cannot express how much I love you.  Your life has changed me for the better and has taught me to love deeper than I ever knew was possible.  You are the happiest kid!  Your smile is contagious and you fill our days with laughter.  God has given you something extra special that just shines from you.  Everyone who meets you sees it  =0)  You are the strongest little boy I have ever know and I am honored that God chose me to be your mommy.

Happy Birthday Buddy!!!  I love you!!!

Love,

Mommy

1 is around the corner!

In 12 days Stephen will be 1!!!   We have been blessed beyond measure with his life and we are looking forward to celebrating all God has done this past year.  We couldn't think of a more perfect place to celebrate Stephen's birthday than right back where it all began.  On April 17th we will be going down to the Ronald McDonald House to make and serve dinner there and at the NICU.   My mom and I are hopefully sewing some soft little cuddle blankets for the babies in hospital this weekend and we are hoping to bring some gifts down to the Ronald McDonald house too!  When we checked into our room on Stephen's birthday they gave each of our children a stuffed animal.  It is hard to describe how much that meant to Joe and I.  Seeing our other 3 children full of joy helped ease the difficult situation we had just entered.  I know I have said what a special place the Ronald McDonald House is before...but that is because I mean it.  They go above and beyond to make families that are hurting feel loved and cared for.
On Stephen's birthday we would love to shower them with gifts for families like ours.  If you would like to join in our efforts in buying new stuffed animals, coloring books & crayons, or toys that kids could use in a hotel style environment we will be taking all donations down with us on April 17th.  If you are in the Orange County area gifts can be given to my family members and they will bring them down to us on the 13th and of course if you are in the Fallbrook area you can drop them off with Joe or myself.  We feel so blessed and would love to be able to bless others on such a joyous day!  If you have any questions feel free to email me at kdrussell04@aol.com

As for a little Stephen update...he is doing great!  His personality has been coming out more and more. He is a crack up.  He loves to smile with all his teeth and has the best giggle.  He plays peek-a-boo, climbs up and down stairs, points to his nose and says mama all day long.  He adores his siblings and they think he is pretty great too!  Here are a few pictures of the almost 1 year old =0)

Stephen loving on his cousin Dominic...so cute!!!

Happy Easter!

Last year our family spent Easter in a hotel.  I had been discharged from the hospital 2 days prior with semi-strict "bedrest" instructions.    As crazy as life was at the time it turned out to be a pretty spectacular day.  My family came down and brought everything for a fabulous Easter dinner.  Luckily the lobby/dining area was empty so we just set up camp...all 16 of us.   I wish I had taken pictures because it was pretty fantastic.
It was fun reminiscing this Easter.   Remembering all little things that made last year perfect.   When I say they brought everything...they did.  My dad even brought their espresso machine.  The boys went over to the basketball court with the kids while the girls talked in the lobby.  When the party thinned out enough to fit in our hotel room we sat and played cards.  
This easter was much the same...minus the setting.   I have a large family who loves being together.  Its hard to spend a day with them and not feel completely blessed.  And whether we spend it at a hotel or my dads house, the meaning of Easter remains the same.  Christ is Risen.  He humbly came to this earth and conquered sin and death.  He is preparing a place for us with no more sadness and no more tears.  The hope that comes with Easter is the hope that makes our earthly trials bearable.  Christ gives meaning to our suffering and hope in this life.
Happy Easter from the Russells...a few days late =0)

10 Months Old!

Here are few cute pictures of our 10 month old!

Reading the Bible with his siblings...such a big boy now!

Sporting his Valentine's Day shirt..."My Heart Beats...4U"

LOVE it!

Stephen is doing everything a 10 month old should.   He is constantly on the move, pulling himself up onto everything, climbing on whatever he can, exploring under tables...he keeps me on my toes!  I can only imagine what it wil be like when he starts walking =0)  

He is still quite the charmer and has a smile that melts your heart.  He has learned to give high fives and kisses and likes to fake cough squeal...he will do anything for a laugh... and his audience finds it all very amusing =0)  Sleep has yet to come but we are making some progress.  We are loving watching him grow and seeing his personality come out more and more.  He is a fun little guy!

Please continue to pray for his health.  A little cold landed us in the ER for 8 hours.  We luckily avoided a hospital stay, but pray that he can steer clear of the nasty bugs going around everywhere.  

With Much Love,

The Russells

CHD Awareness Week

Well today is day 6 of Congenital Heart Awareness Week and I am finally getting around to blogging about it.  The truth is I wasn't sure what to write.  I am still very much so in the learning phase of all of this and don't fully know what I can do help...but I do want to make a difference.  
The fact is Congenital Heart Defects (CHD's) are the most common type of birth defect and are the leading cause of all infant deaths in the United States.   Nearly one of every 100 babies is born with a CHD.  Crazy right?  Single ventricle defects, such as Stephen's, are among the most complex and challenging forms of congenital heart defects to treat.  His specific defect is rare, occurring in just five out of every 100,000 live births.  
Research is critical.  It is amazing to read how far treatment and care has come for children like Stephen.  30 years ago most babies died and now with multiple heart surgeries these Heart Heroes are reaching adulthood.  Amazing.  I want to help.  I want to give.  I want to spread awareness and pray that others join in too.  In October our family was able to raise over $2,000, and our team around $13,000, to support the Heart Institute at Rady Children's Hospital.  I want to keep that up because it matters.  Research matters.  It changes lives and offers hope.  The advancements that are being made are incredible and I pray that 30 years from now they will be doing even more amazing things for these little warriors and their families.  
So it is my goal to better educate myself on these matters and to find ways to join in and help.  I would love to do a fundraiser one day, even a simple one to start, and help raise money for the hospital and the Children's Heart Foundation.  In the meantime we will continue to cook meals and make blankets for the Ronald McDonald House with our youth group and find little ways to say thank you to the doctors, nurses, and staff that have touched our lives.  
I again want to thank you all for being apart of this journey.  For taking time to read this post and learn a little more about CHD's.  And mostly for your prayers for Stephen.   Can you believe that in 2 short months he will be a year old!  What a blessing!  I have some fun ideas planned and maybe even some ways people can get involved...stay tunned =0)

Stephen doing a little research of his own =0)

Goodbye 2012...

2012 began with heartbreak, uncertainty and well...fear.  It brought us to our knees, exposed our frailty and taught us to trust in ways we had never imagined.  But it also brought new life, deeper love, and grateful hearts.  Looking back on 2012 there are many moments and days I would never care to relive but with them are ones I will treasure forever. 

We are only 2 weeks into 2013...but so far no complaints.  On January 4th Stephen had a cardiology appointment that was full of only good news.  Everything looks great and he will only need to be followed every 6 months until his next surgery...that means no more appointments until July!  CRAZY!  I again thank you all for your continued prayers.  It has been so encouraging hearing from people and how they faithfully pray for our son. 

On January 4th we also hosted another dinner at the Ronald McDonald with our youth group.  I can only begin to tell you how special that is to us.  I was able to speak with a mom from Menifee whose 6 week old daughter was hospitalized with RSV and will potentially need to undergo an open heart surgery in the future.  She had just checked in and was telling me how welcomed she felt and how when she walked in the door they gave her 2 blankets for her daughters.  My heart was filled with joy.  Those blankets were made with much love by some girls in the youth group and myself.  It was just perfect and felt like one of those "devine appointments".  Joe and I love that we have an opportunity to give back to such a amazing organization and getting to hear that it made a difference to someone made my day =0)

Soon Stephen will be 9 months!  He is crawling, babbling, clapping, blowing bubbles, laughing and shaking his head no.  He loves when we sing to him and bounces and bobs right along.   He is pulling himself up onto furniture and keeps me on my toes as his little hands grab EVERYTHING.  He has 8 teeth now and prefers whatever we are eating to to baby food...so he has already tasted his first pizza.  The only thing he isn't yet doing is walking or sleeping  =0)  

I am looking forward to all of Stephen's firsts that 2013 is going to bring, and as much as I want him to remain my baby forever, it will be a joy to watch him learn and grow.  

Please continue to pray that his heart will be strong and pray that we will all remain healthy during this cold and flu season.  Thank you!  And Happy Belated New Year!