Goodbye 2012...

2012 began with heartbreak, uncertainty and well...fear.  It brought us to our knees, exposed our frailty and taught us to trust in ways we had never imagined.  But it also brought new life, deeper love, and grateful hearts.  Looking back on 2012 there are many moments and days I would never care to relive but with them are ones I will treasure forever. 

We are only 2 weeks into 2013...but so far no complaints.  On January 4th Stephen had a cardiology appointment that was full of only good news.  Everything looks great and he will only need to be followed every 6 months until his next surgery...that means no more appointments until July!  CRAZY!  I again thank you all for your continued prayers.  It has been so encouraging hearing from people and how they faithfully pray for our son. 

On January 4th we also hosted another dinner at the Ronald McDonald with our youth group.  I can only begin to tell you how special that is to us.  I was able to speak with a mom from Menifee whose 6 week old daughter was hospitalized with RSV and will potentially need to undergo an open heart surgery in the future.  She had just checked in and was telling me how welcomed she felt and how when she walked in the door they gave her 2 blankets for her daughters.  My heart was filled with joy.  Those blankets were made with much love by some girls in the youth group and myself.  It was just perfect and felt like one of those "devine appointments".  Joe and I love that we have an opportunity to give back to such a amazing organization and getting to hear that it made a difference to someone made my day =0)

Soon Stephen will be 9 months!  He is crawling, babbling, clapping, blowing bubbles, laughing and shaking his head no.  He loves when we sing to him and bounces and bobs right along.   He is pulling himself up onto furniture and keeps me on my toes as his little hands grab EVERYTHING.  He has 8 teeth now and prefers whatever we are eating to to baby food...so he has already tasted his first pizza.  The only thing he isn't yet doing is walking or sleeping  =0)  

I am looking forward to all of Stephen's firsts that 2013 is going to bring, and as much as I want him to remain my baby forever, it will be a joy to watch him learn and grow.  

Please continue to pray that his heart will be strong and pray that we will all remain healthy during this cold and flu season.  Thank you!  And Happy Belated New Year!

A year ago today are hearts were broken.  5 days before Christmas we had learned that our unborn son's heart did not develop properly and would require multiple surgeries to live.  It is a day I will never forget.  I can still hear the doctors voice, see her expression and feel the tears swell up in me.  I was scared, terrified, and felt so alone.  Christmas was hard last year...life was hard last year.  I tried to stay together on the outside but on the inside I was an emotional mess.
This year is much different.  My heart still hurts when I think about the reality of Stephen's condition, and at times I shed tears, but I know how fortunate we are to have him in our lives and I find comfort in the hope that comes from the Christmas story.  I am amazed that our savior humbled himself and came to earth as a baby.   Christ came in human form to redeem humanity.  He came to serve, not to be served.  The Christmas season renews our faith in the hope of our savior and all that he accomplished.  He conquered death, suffering, and pain.  The victory is guaranteed.  I will always pray for Stephen's heart to be completely healed but I pray with confidence knowing that one day it will be made whole...if not in this life then at the resurrection.  That is the hope of Christmas.  Christ our Savior brings us joy and hope through our sufferings.   
Another aspect of the Christmas story that has encouraged me this season has been Mary's faith and her trust in God.  As a mother I am amazed at the task that was given to her.  She was to deliver, care for and raise the very son of God.  After Stephen's first surgery I remember feeling like I was holding my own little miracle.  I can't even fathom how she felt when she held and kissed Jesus.    The words to the song "Mary, did you know?" combine our saviors divinity and humanity so beautifully...and bring me tears every time.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day walk on water?

Mary did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?

Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?

This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?

Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?

And when you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God.

The blind will see, the deaf will hear and the dead will live again.

The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb.

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?

Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?

This sleeping child you're holding is the great I Am.

The lyrics  are so beautiful and resonate to my core.  Because Christ came the blind will see, the deaf will hear and those with half a heart will be made whole.  I gave birth to my little hero but Mary gave birth to her savior.  She kissed the face of God.  I can only imagine the joy she felt as she wrapped Jesus in cloths and the pain she felt as he was being nailed to the cross.  There are so many Biblical heros we look up to, and this Christmas season Mary is mine.  There is a reason that God chose her to bring about the birth of Christ.  She wasn't randomly selected but was handpicked by God for her faith.  She chose to trust God even when it seemed unfathomable.  Can you imagine being told you were going to become pregnant with God's child?   What a scandal that would have been.  Can you imagine trying to explain that to your fiance, family, friends?  She was a women of faith and courage and surely is blessed among women.

So tomorrow as we go down for a sedated echo I will inevitably have to remind myself of these truths.  I know how fragile this life is and how quickly things can change.  I am thankful for Christmas.  I love celebrating our savior's birth and I am in awe that God loved us so much that he chose to come down from heaven and live as we do to be the atonement for our sins.

A year ago I questioned why?  Why us?  Why Stephen?  I can't say that those questions don't pop up time to time but this year I am saying Thank You.  Thank You for life, thank you God for your Son, thank you for my incredible family and thank you for Stephen and his special heart.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

8 Months

Oh how Stephen has grown!    He turned 8 months yesterday and is cute as ever.  He is mobile and crawling all over and can find even the littlest of items to put in his mouth.  He has 6 teeth and is becoming less and less interested with baby foods and much more interested in what we are eating.   We lowered his crib when we found him sitting up in his crib and pulling up on the bars.  How can this be?  He is growing up too fast!  He still loves to smile and laugh and even bobs his head and "dances" when we sing.  He has started to entertain his siblings and has made the connection between his actions and their laughter.  So when he bangs his head back on his high chair and his siblings laugh...he smiles and does it over and over.  I love this stage =0)
He is finally sleeping better...I think I have been getting 3-4 straight hours some nights, and he has taken a larger interest in Joe which frees up my arms a bit.  His smile is adorable, his laugh is contagious and I am loving watching his personality come out.

Please pray for Stephen as he goes in on the 21st for a sedated echo.  It is our prayer that is heart looks great and that no procedures would be needed from now until his next surgery.  And pray that we can all remain healthy for Christmas...I am doing my best to keep the kiddos in a bubble until then =0)

Update in Pictures

Just wanted to share some pictures from life lately.  Stephen is one happy little boy and always wears a smile on his face =0)  

He is seriously adorable =0)  

6 Months!

I can't believe that Stephen turned 6 months today!!!  We are so grateful for his precious life and God's faithfulness.  We have had our ups and downs but God faithfulness has remained the same.  

Stephen is loving life!  He is sitting up on his own, eating baby food like crazy and is about to get his upper teeth any day now.  He has the most kissable cheeks, an incredible smile and daily melts my heart  with his charm.   In the midst of a chaotic day, the kind where you want to just scream, I laid on the floor, sat him on my belly and ended up laughing as he smiled down on me and blew bubbles.  It was just what I needed.  A reminder of how insanely blessed I am.   

"Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.  Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.  Know that the LORD is God.  It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.  Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.  For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations".

Psalm 100

HAPPY 6 MONTHS Stephen Joseph!  We love with all of our hearts!!!

Shamu and You Family Walk

Our family had such a great time on Saturday at the Shamu and You Family Walk to support Rady Children's Hospital.  Team Heart Hero has raised $12,653.00 so far!  It turns out you can still raise money until October 31st so if you were still wanting to contribute to an amazing cause just click on the link below.  All donations are tax deductible and will benefit the cardiology department to help other heart heros like Stephen.
http://shamuandyouwalk.org/stephenrussell

A few highlights from the walk...

#1 The Heart Heros

I believe there were 15 heart heros there!  It was great to see some of these amazing families again!
They each have incredible stories and strong little kiddos.

Even Heros need to sleep =0)

#2 We got to get up close to some fun animals along the way!  My personal favorite was Penny Penguin...I wish we could have pet her!

#3  Best Friends

It was adorable watching them all morning long.  I love that they held hands as they walked...warmed my heart.

#4 Making God Proud

I think this touched me the most.  I loved that as a family we got to raise money to support a place that is extremely dear to us.   I cannot state enough what an amazing place Rady Children's Hospital is.  What they do for our community is incredible.  50% of kids in San Diego are uninsured and they wouldn't turn a single one away.  The staff are incredible and you can always tell that they love kids and what they do.  On our way home Michael said "I think God is proud that we raised money for kids"  I beamed!  He gets it.  Yes...God is proud that they were a part of this.  God calls us to help others and to look outside of ourselves.  He calls us to give... whether it is time or money.  He calls us to care and to love.   I will feel like a successful parent if my children love God with all their heart, mind and strength and love others.  The walk was such a simple and easy way for our children to get involved in something great.  I love that they came down to the Ronald McDonald House to serve when we brought the High School group, that they helped bake for the NICU, they walked to raise money for Heart Heros and they daily pray for a child from Rady's who is battling Leukemia and for the four children we have sponsored in other countries.  I love it because they are actively doing the will of God in their lives.  I have been so inspired by some families in our church who have done a great job teaching their children to be servants.  Joe and I look up to those families and I want to continue to find ways for our family to serve together, pray together and grow together.  Needless to say we will be doing this again next year!

I also want to again thank you all for your faithful prayers for our son.  We are grateful for you.  I wish I could give each and every one of you a hug!  And Thank You to those who joined team Heart Hero on Saturday or made a donation in honor of Stephen.  We feel very blessed to be supported by so many people.

Stephen is doing great.  We had a follow-up appointment with his pediatrician in Fallbrook today.  The plan right now is to finish the 14 days of antibiotics and then go in for another urine test to make sure the infection is gone.  She will in the meantime be consulting a urologist to decide if further testing will be needed to determine the reason for the UTI.  My prayer is no...but I want what is best for the little guy.  Please continue to pray for sleep.  We don;t get much of it.  The night before the walk he literally woke up once every hour...yes...every hour.  11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 when we finally had to get up and get ready.  It can be rough.  Last night I think he went 2-2 hour stretches and 1-3 hour stretch which was amazing.  By the grace of God we are able to function on a daily basis without caffeine...impressive I know.  I decided that I will be Wonder Woman the day I actually get a straight 6 hours of sleep.  I can only imagine what I may be able to accomplish then =0)

Until then I am learning to go to bed early...so Good Night All!!!

Much Love

Kim

Thank you for all your prayers.  We just left the hospital and checked into the hotel!  God is soooo good!  I can't wait to post pictures from the walk!!!!