4 Days and Counting...

I am often asked (by those who can get a hold of me) how I am doing.  You see, some may be surprised to find out, I am actually an introvert... an extroverted introvert that is.  I am not shy or quite (duh) but I am also not recharged by people.  I need my quiet, I need my away, and at times like these, I become somewhat of a hermit.

It doesn't mean I don't need people...I do!  It just means I probably can't talk.  It takes too much of me emotionally (at times) to have a conversation.  Please don't feel bad if you have talked to me lately, and please don't stop trying to call.  Just know, if I pick up I am good to talk, if I don't, I either can't find my phone, or just can't talk right now (or both!).  And your text messages, I may not be able to emotionally type a response back, but I covet the encouragement.  I know this could feel like a one way relationship, but right now, that may be all I am good for.  And I appreciate those willing to engage in it.  Thank you!

I have spent the majority of the past 2 weeks in isolation (lockdown) worried that Stephen will get sick and his surgery will once again be postponed.  Now, I found myself slightly terrified that he is not going to get sick, and in 4 days, this will all become a reality.  So, this week I have been trying to keep busy (all while being in a rather hot home) by organizing my garage.

You would think I should be cleaning my house, but no...garage it was!  It's kind of like the whole "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" book. You see, I wanted to repaint the inside of my house (yes I am crazy...and no I probably won't have time to do it now) so I started packing up some things in my room to make that possible.  I had to put these things into the garage to make space.  The garage was a wreck which stressed me out.  I didn't need more stress, so I decided to clean the garage...so I can put more stuff in it!  Makes sense right?!  But in cleaning it I needed to go through e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g because why keep what I don't use?!  So, yesterday I finally made the trip to the thrift shop with a van full of unneeded items...and it felt SO good!

Really, all of this is a coping mechanism to keep busy and keep my mind off of 4 days from now.  As soon as I stop, I think, and then I cry, and then I worry...and who needs to go through that e.v.e.r.y day...not me.  I am going to be a sobbing mess on Tuesday anyway, so why not just wait to until then to open the floodgates?!

However, now it is getting serious.  Again, I half expected it to just get cancelled again, and now (with a perfectly healthy child) it may not!  That means I need to stop it with the garage, put my painting dreams on hold (Agreeable Gray will just have to wait), and get this house cleaned up!  I mean...it's been 2 weeks of 4 kids in it ALL the time.  Yikes!  I need to actually start thinking of packing again and make some lists of what needs to be going where.  I have to pack for 3 kids going up to my mom's for an undetermined amount of days.  I need to pack for Joe, myself and Stephen for the hospital for again...an undetermined amount of days.  I need to buy snacks, stock up on pet food...and I don't know what else yet...hence I need to make a list!

So, how can you be praying for us?  Please continue to pray for the health of our entire family, especially Stephen.  Pray for peace so I won't be a complete stress case.  I am already having difficulty sleeping at night.  Pray that I can shut off my mind and get some rest.  Pray of Michael, Lizzie & Audrey as they will be away from home and their parents.  They truly are INCREDIBLE kiddos and have handled this life so well.  Pray for Joe.  I know he hurts too and deals with the stress so differently than I do.  Pray that he too has great peace and strength as he holds our family up.  Pray for Stephen, that as the surgery draws near, his nerves would not.  Pray that the surgery would go smoothly and that he would have a speedy and uneventful recovery.  Pray for his spirit, that he would come out of it all the smiley, joyful kiddo we all know and love so much.   And for a room at the RMH to open up...I think it looks good...but prayers are appreciated!

Pre-op is set for Monday friends...and surgery Tuesday if all stays well.

Oh Lord, this is happening isn't it?  Be with us.   Use this.  Use us.  Jesus, we trust in you.