2 Weeks Away...and Already a Wreck

2 weeks from today is Stephen's Pre-Fontan Cath Lab...and I can't shake the idea that this could my last 2 weeks with him.  That, in a nut shell, is where I am at emotionally.  I BROKE down to Joe yesterday after church...like ugly, loud sobbing.  I am trying to stay strong but the truth is I am a wreck.  It's hitting me hard right now...and tears are plenty.

I already posted about "The Dreaded Cath"and all of my fears that go with it.  Stephen went into stage 2 heart block the last time (not good) and is prone to have the same outcome again. The fact is, I know all (or most) of the possibilities and I only want 1 of them.  I want the one where he tolerates it all perfectly, wakes up just fine, and in no time he is right back to his
cheerful smiley self.  I want that SO badly it hurts.  But there are no guarantees...and that is killing me.

I love God, I trust in Jesus, and I know the only guarantee I can rely on is the eternal hope that is promised.  And if I dig deep down I know that is enough...that He is enough.  Praise God that I have these truths to rely on because this hope is the one and only thing that gets me through this suffering.

But right now I am weak and can use your prayers.  I knew I would be a wreck before surgery, but I didn't expect to get hit this hard right now.  Prayer warriors...please pray these days leading up to this procedure.  Pray for God's protection over Stephen both physically and emotionally.  Pray for his siblings who are already sad that we will be apart.  Pray for Joe and I to handle this the best we can.  It is so hard hiding these tears...but I do my best!   I know we are surrounded by prayer, and I am so grateful for it!