The first few days after learning about Stephen’s condition were very rough and I spent many hours in prayer. As a pastor for the last seven years I knew all the right answers that the Bible gives about pain and suffering. Sin has disrupted God’s plan for humans and creation. God is not to be blamed as the author of pain and suffering. God even sent His Son to undue the power of sin (this will be fully accomplished at Christ’s return when all pain and suffering are finally removed).
Knowing these truths are much different than actually being able to live them. I would never have chosen this for my son and I struggled with guilt, as I didn’t want to accept this from God. My first thought after learning about Stephen wasn’t “God’s will be done”, but was anger. Who wants to accept the fact my son might not live past the first week of his life. I am glad to know that my God can handle angry conversations and people questioning His character (just read through Psalms and you will see this many times).
If I had let my anger get the best of me I would have turned into a person of despair, either rejecting God as loving or believing God is distant and does not really care about me. I am thankful that I did not end there as it has so tragically for others. As I poured over the Bible and the familiar passages I have shared with others who have faced hard times God graciously started to help me understand pain and suffering a little better.
There are two very telling passages that stuck out to me from the book of Romans; the first is Romans 5:3-5, “ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
How appropriate that the verse talks about suffering and allows it to be a beneficial thing. Suffering gives one perseverance and then character and then leads one to hope. Hope does not disappoint us because of the Holy Spirit that we as Christians possess. Sufferings, which we all will face in different levels, are going to lead to two things: hope or despair.
Without sufferings it will be very difficult to see the hope of the future because we as humans get to caught up in this temporal world. This leads to the next verses that has become so vital for me, Romans 8:18, 22-25, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us… 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”
Our present sufferings cannot compare with the future glory that Christians will be a part of. This is very difficult to see in the moment. Romans 8 is so powerful. We as humans know something is wrong and that is why sickness and death is something we dislike and we groan under this pain. We were not created to die or face suffering but sin has brought both of these into the world. The hope of Christians is found in the fact that we are adopted as God’s children and this adoption will be completed with the redemption of our bodies (the resurrection). How amazing that one-day the Christian’s body will be made whole, perfect and not able to decay and will be in the perfect presence of God for all eternity (Look at Revelation 21:1-7 for a clear picture of this). This is the hope of anyone who is a Christian who dies, whether a week old or at a 100.
The last major thing that has given me hope through this whole process is the fact that Jesus died and suffered on the cross. His suffering produced hope in at least two ways. First, that suffering does not have to be pointless and secondly, hope in the salvation of sins. Our sufferings, which are not pointless in Christ, can have meaning and hope because of Christ’s suffering. The worst act of humans was to kill their creator, but this horrible act brought the greatest hope for humans and creation. Sufferings are tragic, as the result of sin, but can bring hope as they draw us to the fact that all things will be put right in the future and that our bodies will be perfect at the resurrection.
Never in my life have I prayed more or learned more about God. So at least right now I can see how God can use the most tragic events in one’s life to draw them closer to Him. Suffering is not pointless but reminds us of how fragile this life is and how we need to put our hope in Christ. Suffering shows us not to get caught up in this world but to see the bigger picture, to point us to Christ as Savior and our continually need for God. My prayer is that Stephen’s condition is used by God and for God to make an impact for the glory of His name.
Steven's physical heart may be weak, but his spiritual one will be strong, with you for a father. That is one of the most beautiful explainations of faith through suffering that I have ever heard. My prayers for you, Kim, your family, Steven and the Doctors and staff that care for him.
ReplyDeleteDear Russell Family, It grieved me from the beginning to know that you guys were having to go through this difficult situation. Adam and I can attest to those dark and helpless days followed by much prayer. It is so much harder to have your child suffer than yourself, and to picture a little newborn in surgery is beyond comprehension. I was reading Matthew 18:19-20 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” This is my prayer for Stephen, as so many of us are praying together and in agreement. Lord Jesus, please re-form little Stephen's heart before he enters this world! May he be healthy and robust and without need of surgery. May Your name be glorified, lifted up, and exalted. We are praying for constant peace and comfort for you throughout this time.
ReplyDeleteIn Christ,
Alicia Young
Our family keeps you and sweet, precious Stephen Joseph in our Prayers every day. I thank you for your strength and courage in sharing your journey. You are an inspiration in your Faith. Please let us know if there is anything you need in the coming weeks.
ReplyDeleteEmily, Stephen and Family
Kim & Joe,
ReplyDeleteIt is my heartfelt prayer that Stephen will be completely healed and whole when he is born, we know our God can do that!
Should God choose a different route for you and Stephen, we know God will still have the ultimate victory. We also know you will, when you tuck yourselves under the shadow of His wings and completely rely on His Holy Spirit for everything you need.
I pray God will give you and you children, an abundance of peace, strength, wisdom and courage, as you navigate the waters you have before you.
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 )
We cannot lose!!
I'm praying for you all, with the love of Jesus,
Lisa Metzler
Joe & Kim,
ReplyDeleteThank you for setting up this blog so we know how to pray for you & baby Stephen. We are so sorry you have to walk this scary road. Will be praying for a miracle for little Stephen, comfort for you both as you get closer to delivery, & wisdom for all of the medical staff that will handle your sweet baby.
Love,
Matt & Ann Bellafaire