Happy Birthday Buddy!

3 years ago a beautiful soul entered this world and his life forever changed mine.  The anniversary of his birth brings such a mixed bag of emotions.  It is with sincere gratitude that I look back on these past 3 years and thank the Lord for Stephen's life.  While so many heart heros fail to see their first birthday, Stephen has seen 3 and I know how blessed we are.

Each year I go back and read through the blog posts from the beginning.  They tell a beautiful story of the bravest little guy I know and capture so many of our raw emotions.  They show our cries to God as well as our praises.  They bring me to tears and yet bring joy to my heart.  It has been a hard journey but also a beautiful one.

This picture below shows the 10 seconds I got to hold my baby on the day of his birth.  He had been in this world for a good 20 minutes before I even saw a glimpse of his face and it would be days before he would be in my arms again.

There was a team of 11 doctors, nurses, specialists, respiratory therapists, and a transport team that crowded the delivery room.  They immediately placed IV's and wires on his tiny little body.  While most moms wait to hear their babies weight and height, I waited to hear he was stable and able to be moved.  The first glimpse I had of his face came from a photo Joe was able to sneak on his phone.   I then found myself for the next few hours stuck in one hospital while my baby and husband were in another...a heartbreaking place to be.  I was relieved when they finally let Joe wheel me down to Radys to be with him.  I sat for hours in a wheel chair next to his bed.  There was nothing I could do for him but sit and pray.  At this point he was slightly struggling and even little noises would agitate him and cause his oxygen saturations to drop.  So I sat and prayed...and snuck in his first picture with his daddy =)

While this day was in so many ways a struggle, it is such a blessing to be sitting here 3 years later with so much to be thankful for and so much to celebrate!  God has walked this road with us every step of the way.  He has been our rock and our refuge and we would not be who we are today without Him.  I am so thankful for the life and provision he has granted Stephen and I pray that he would continue to strengthen his heart and use Stephen's journey for His glory.

There is also so much to celebrate today!  We celebrate his life and all of the joy he has brought to our lives!  We celebrate the obstacles he has overcome and the strength he has shown.  We celebrate the impact his life has made and how God has done "immeasurably more" than we could have dreamed.  We celebrate Stephen!  In all his wonderful silliness we celebrate Stephen today!

As per Stephen's request we will be spending the day at Legoland!  He has been counting down all week (with help from his siblings) for today.  He is sooooo excited for his birthday and that just makes it extra special for me =)

He has grown so much these past few months!  He still LOVES school work and asks to do it EVERY day.  He knows almost all of his letters and numbers and loves to count.  He is completely done with diapers, sleeps in the bottom bunk, can peddle his tricycle by himself and hits a baseball pitched at him.  To a mom who was told he would most likely be delayed...these are all little miracles!

So today I wish my little buddy a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

My God continue to bless his life and grant many more Birthdays to come!

Easter Festivities

I have been far too busy to write and well... I don't like that.  I find that writing and jotting down my thoughts can be extremely therapeutic yet with 4 kids, homeschooling, loads of laundry and hubby I care to spend time with sometimes my only therapy is chocolate =)

I did however want to find the time to share with you my wonderful and slightly chaotic Easter festivities.  I would like to thank all of those who gave their time and money to make our Easter Carnival at the San Diego Ronald McDonald House another success.  We truly could not have done it without ALL OF YOU!!!

For the entire week leading to Easter my house looked like this.  I take that back...this is when it was "clean".  For much of the week the floor was not visible! As my good friend Wendy stated it looked like Easter threw up at my house!  But, with the help of others, we made and wrapped 120 Easter baskets!!!  And these weren't just any old Easter baskets...they were AMAZING!  They were baskets that parents would wish they could give their children...heck they were baskets my children wished I would give them =)

This is where it gets real for me.  I know to some it may seem like I go overboard, or put too much time into it, but I know the pain and hurt these families are feeling and I know the joy and relief these baskets can bring.

Last Saturday I handed a basket to a mom in tears who was so grateful and relieved she would be able to give her daughter this gift.  She shared how 4 days prior she would have never had expected to be spending this holiday in the hospital.  That Wednesday her daughter (who is 6) went in for a MRI and by the next morning she was in surgery to begin cancer treatment.  In a flash her life was forever changed.  My heart broke, as it always does when I hear these types of stories, but it is also the driving fuel for my passion in this ministry.  These families are hurting.  Many of them have a child with a life threatening medical crisis and they need a glimpse of hope, a moment of relief... and JESUS!!

God has given me a heart and passion for this place.  It is a place where broken people can come in and feel supported and loved.  Where volunteers, people you don't even know, take their time to provide your basic needs when you need it most.

I know all too well how important a place like the Ronald McDonald House is to our community. These people serve families in crisis...and we were just one of them.  It brings tears to my eyes to think back on the days we needed the House.  Put it this way... the day Stephen had his first open heart surgery a group of volunteers were there to feed me.  I didn't know them, they didn't know me, but they fed me.  This past December when Stephen went in for his oral surgery I was a mess.  Joe and I had not eaten so once they took Stephen back into the operating room we went to the House to get breakfast.  I couldn't even stand in the line.  It felt terrible to be on the other side of the buffet table.  I have been so used to serving these past 3 years that I had almost forgot what it felt like to be in need.  I broke down and while I standing there in tears a lady came and gave me a hug and prayed for me.  It is moments like these that keep me coming back.  I want to be that comfort and support to someone when they need it most.  Whether it is providing the meal, making blankets, putting together a carnival or making super awesome Easter Baskets, I want to serve these families and I feel incredibly blessed to have a church of supporters behind me =)


On a lighter note (I'm sentimental... I can't help it) I am going to back up and fill you in on what we did April 4th.

The day before Easter about 45 of us from Riverview went down to the Ronald McDonald House to make/serve dinner and put on an Easter Carnival and Egg Hunt!  Outside we had 10 carnival style games, face painting, a photo booth, popcorn, cotton candy, nachos and a bounce house/slide combo! It was a joy serving alongside of so many wonderful families and I loved watching all of the little ones get involved!

With a last minute AMAZING donation by our church I was able to help put 36 baskets together specially made for the parents and families in the NICU (a place near and dear to my heart).  Each basket contained a stuffed animal, blanket, socks/beanie and some candy/snacks for the parents.  These baskets were given out to the parents on Easter morning and I received a text from my friend Erin (who is a NICU nurse at Rady's) that the parents were super grateful and blessed by the unexpected gift =)  We also brought over 30 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies to the nurses and doctors...because they can use a little love too!


And as an added little bonus to the baskets, a sticker was placed on all 120 of them reading...

Happy Easter!

With Love in Christ,

Riverview Church

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade" 1 Peter 1:3-4

My prayer is that these baskets, and the conversations that so many of us had with parents that day, will plant a seed in their hearts...and that one day that seed will grow =)

Again, THANK YOU all who helped in anyway (time, money & prayers) to make this day possible.  It is hard to believe in a few short days my miracle baby will be turning 3...God has greatly blessed us with his life and I pray that He would continue to use it to touch the hearts and lives of others!

With Much Love & Gratitude In Christ,

The Russell Family

Keeping Germs Away

I was never a germaphobe.  Honestly...never.  I didn't sterilize my kids pacifiers or even rinse them when they fell on the floor.  I didn't make people wash there hands when they wanted to hold my child and never thought once about asking someone if they had been sick before coming to my house. If ever a mom is going to freak out with germs it is with her first kid right?  Wrong!  

After spending his first month of life in the NICU and learning just how dangerous a virus can be my entire take on germs changed.  Standing orders from our doctor is to not be around anybody who has had the flu or anyone who has even just been around someone else who has had the flu within the past week.  Seriously.  Stephen has had 2 fevers ever and both landed us in the hospital.  

The first six months of his life was a whirlwind.  After his second surgery at 4 months old we were literally at the doctor almost every week.  I went online to check his medical history at our pediatricians office and saw that in Sept of 2012 he had 2 sick visits, then 2 in Oct and 3 in Nov.  He would constantly have a runny nose and be put on an antibiotic for fear it would turn into something worse.  I felt helpless.  I wanted to find away to keep him healthy and away from the doctor.  One night I turned to a Heart Mom support group online to see if others had the same experience and what they did.  I came to learn that there kids had the same troubles and some offered me a wonderful solution...ESSENTIAL OILS!

Essential oils are natural aromatic compounds found in the seeds, bark, stems, roots, flowers, and other parts of plants.  These amazing oils have changed our lives!  Since we started using them over 2 years ago I have seen the amazing benefits they have to offer. Last month was the first time Stephen had a sick visit (it was an ear infection) in almost 2 years!  That alone is incredible!  The list of Essential Oil wins for our family goes on and on.  Michael was able to go over a year without using his inhaler for asthma.  We would use Eucalyptus and a blend called Breath and it would work wonders.  Oregano took care or my warts on my fingers (gross I know) and Joe's athletes foot.  Lavender helped me sleep soundly without tossing and turning all night.  OnGuard would knock a sore throat out almost instantly if caught right away.   Basically I have an incredible natural "medicine cabinet" that I use for cuts, burns, coughs, runny/snuffy noses, athletes foot, sore throats etc.  I truly LOVE these oils and LOVE sharing them with others.  A friends this week had a sinus infection and I was able to lend her 2 bottles...no prescription needed!

I went into these oils skeptical but hopeful.  I was desperate to find something to keep Stephen healthy and Joe and I gave it a go and we are both so glad we did.  I can seriously go on and on about the benefits of these oils and what they can do for your family but rather than write away for the next few hours I will invite those who are interested to contact me for information. I would love to chat with you and share my experiences =)

For those local I will also be hosting an Introduction to  Essential Oils class at my home with my lovely friend and fellow heart mom Susie who introduced me to Doterra.  It is next Sunday March 1st @ 1 pm and will be a fun learning essential oil basics and tips to keep your whole family healthy this winter and spring! We will focus on common uses for essential oils in the home, from strengthening the immune system to ensuring clean hands and surfaces. You will learn how to replace many of the synthetic chemicals in your kitchen and bathroom with natural and safe essential oils! There will be yummy snacks, samples and giveaways too! Let me know if you are interested in coming next week and I will send you the Evite. For those who can't attend but want more information send me an email or give me a call. kdrussell04@aol.com

I still don't love germs but I don't feel so helpless against them. They are truly a God given gift and I think it is pretty cool that I have a bottle of Frankincense and Myrrh on my bathroom counter =)

Much Love,
Kim

Ruined

My sister-in-law Carlee wrote this beautiful piece on Stephen...a perfect post to share during CHD Awareness Week!  Each time I read it (yes I have read it several times) tears flow.  I am so very blessed to have people in my life who love my son deeply.  They have cried with us, prayed with us and rejoiced with us.  I don't know where I would be without them.  

Without further ado...

Ruined

I Wear Red for Stephen!

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week is coming up!!!  To kick off Awareness week (February 7-14th) tomorrow Friday, February 6th is National Wear Red Day!!!  It may seem silly but it is a simple, fun way to honor a Heart Hero or remember an Angel within our Heart Community.

I encourage you to wear red tomorrow in honor of the adorable little 2 year old you have all been praying for =)  Take a picture and upload it on Facebook and tag Joe or myself...or just wear red!  We will use some of these photos for Stephen's album to show him the love and support he has received throughout his years =)

Feel free to also use the picture below on Facebook to share with others who you are wearing red for!

I hope to see a bunch of you in RED!!!

The "F" Word

Last Monday was Stephen's 6 month heart check-up.  Nothing big, just an EKG and cardiologist appointment.  And then it happened...his doctor dropped the "F" bomb.   I knew the dreaded word would come up sooner than later...but I still expected it to be later.   Stephen is just about ready for the Fontan, his third open heart surgery.   Our hospital goes by weight (15 kilos) and Stephen is currently at 14.1.

I have sat here for a week trying to write a post but every time it gives me a headache and I just stare blankly at the screen.  My heart (and my head) are not ready to go there right now.  I cannot bare to think of the reality that awaits him so instead I have checked myself into a different mode...research mode.

While our hospital and many other centers base the timing of the Fontan on weight, I have been, and will be continuing, to seek second, third, fourth and fifth (if needed) opinions.  Without getting into too many details (I am exhausted with it already) the Fontan comes with a list of risks and complications that are depressing to say the least.  Since our first appointment at Rady's, while I was still pregnant, we were told that the 3rd surgery begins a "time clock" on the liver.  While it is beneficial in raising oxygen saturations it can be hard on other organs, particularly the liver, and I am not sure I am ready to hit "start" just yet.

While Stephen is thriving, and showing no current signs of needing the Fontan, I am questioning the timing issue.  Our doctor is thinking a heart catheterization procedure this summer and open heart surgery early fall.  I am having a hard time with this.  Not only because I can't imagine handing my child over again but because I am not sure now is the best time Stephen.

The weight of this decision is currently is too much for me to bare so I am writing and asking you to pray for Joe and I as we gather information to make an informed decision.

This week I had the pleasure of speaking with another cardiologist in Hawaii who tends to believe in putting off the surgery as long as the child's sats and energy are stable.  He knew talking with him would as he said "muddy the waters" but I am so glad I did.  The reality is we have 2 sub-optimal (at best) options and we need to weigh the benefits of going ahead with the Fontan now with the risks...even if they are down the road.

Thankfully no decision needs to be made now.   Our cardiologist is expecting us to call in June to discuss the matter further.  Until then I will be contacting other doctors on both sides of the fence to gather as much information as I can and seek prayers for wisdom and guidance before we make this awful decision.

Please pray for peace and clarity.  Even if we go through with it this fall I want to have peace that it is the right decision for Stephen and not just because he has gained enough weight to be a candidate. While I know it will one day be inevitable this mommy needs to take the time now to diligently research and pray...and ultimately surrender and trust God.

I truly thank each and every one of you who prays for our son and our family.  May God continue to guide us and use our lives for His Glory.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him

and he will make your path straight"

P.S. 

 Now that I got this heavy post out of the way...I hope to follow with some 
more lighthearted updates soon!

Love,

One Blessed Mommy

Dental Work & Update

Hi Friends and Faithful Prayer Warriors!

Well the long awaited dental appointment is coming up this Friday.  I am actually surprised at how hard it has been for me.  Every time I think about it I tear up (if I am around people) or just full on break down when I am by myself.  This will be the first time we will have to hand him over at an age when he is aware of his surroundings and his dislike for white coats.  His first 2 surgeries were at 9 days and 4 months.  And while this is by no means "surgery" or even in the same ballpark as open heart surgery, he will have to be fully intubated and sedated in the OR at Rady Children's Hospital.

I am just praying that we will be able to go back into the room with him as they gas him first to put him to sleep.  I don't want him to fear walking down the hall with strangers or being put on a cold sterile table in a room that would scare any two year old.  While he should feel no pain, my heart breaks for the fear he will have...see crocodile tears flowing down my cheeks and onto my lap now =( I see it in his eyes every time we are at the doctors or even when he thinks we are at a doctors office. I have seen him curl his lip and try to fight back tear to be brave and ask to be "all done" while visiting his newborn cousin in the hospital and it breaks me.  I want so bad to be able to take all of this away from him...I would trade places with him in a heartbeat!

So please pray for peace.  It is really hard to see him so scared.  And please pray that we can be with him until he is "out".  I want to be able to hold his hand through this.  I don't want to say goodbye at the pre-op curtain =(

The procedures itself should take about 2 hours but we are planning on a long day.  We have an hour drive to the hospital to arrive 1 1/2 prior, to the 2 hour procedure and then however long it takes to wake/recover from anesthesia before the hour trip back home.

 Today I began to prep him.  I told him he was going to the doctor on Friday and of course he said "no".  I let him know that mommy and daddy would be with him and to my surprise he asked if "Audie" could come too =)  Too cute.  I told him we would be going to the hospital to have the doctor work on his teeth and that he would even have a special doctor who would help him nap the entire time.  I have learned how important it is to prepare him before visits and I hope over the next few days we can help prepare his heart for his visit on friday.

And lastly please pray that he would remain healthy this week and that there would be no complications on Friday as there are always risks when being put under general anesthesia.

Thank You!!!

On a much lighter note he is doing REALLY well!  He loves playing with his siblings and asks to do "schoolwork" all day long.  This little guy loves to trace his letters and sort colors.   He is really into puzzles and can put 12-24 piece ones together by himself.  He is such a bright kiddo!  As of now his low oxygen sure hasn't made him skip a beat!  He is speaking in mostly complete sentences and definitely exerts his independence and stubbornness...and yet remains adorable.   He loves to pray each night and thank God for Philip Rivers, his dog Chico, Baby Violet, Legoland and his siblings...melts my heart.  He reminds me everyday how blessed I am.  =)

Here are a few pictures of our recent adventures...

Stephen and I went on a date to Froyo and played a little o Fish after we finished our dessert!