Stephen's Heart

My kids have a crazy love for music and are much more knowledgeable than me when it comes to bands. When asked by my lovely younger sister to name the Beetles members I replied "Paul McCartney, John Lennon and Sonny Bono"  I was quickly reminded they were called the Fab 4 and no Sonny Bono was not one of them...yes I am just that awesome!  Well my kids have it down.  Our van has a 6 CD holder and Michael knows which CD is in which slot and the numbers of all the songs he likes.  I am constantly being asked to put on Owl City "Galaxies" or the new Switchfoot "Selling the News" and when I say huh???... he replies "mom CD 3 Track 8".  Really???  They also have a tendency to listen to their favorite songs over and over and over.  One of them really stuck out to me this past week.  On Switchfoot's album...I don't know the name and michael is asleep, the words say
"I want to thrive not just survive".
Last week Joe and I had the chance to go out to dinner just the two of us.  We were blessed by a family in our church and a beautiful NICU nurse with babysitting and we got to spend some alone time together.  At dinner Joe asked me how I was doing and that song came to mind.  You see after we had Audrey I truly felt like I was just trying to keep my head above water for about the first year.  3 kids was rough.  I called Joe so many times asking him to come home early and greeted him too many times with a frustrated "I'm done being a mom" look.  I was in survival mode at best and when we decided to have 4 kids I thought it would be the same... but it hasn't.  I don't by any means feel that I have it all figured out but I can say that I feel like I am thriving in a sense.  I am genuinely happy.  Life has been difficult but my smiles are real and not some mask I put on.  More than ever I have realized how important perspective is in life.  That year was difficult not because I had 3 children but because I let the small things get to me.  I loved my kids but I didn't daily appreciate that I had them and I would let short periods of difficulty ruin an entire day.  Stephen has brought a whole new perspective to our lives.  My kids are still not perfect.  They whine, cry, make a mess, etc but it doesn't get to me like it used to.  I have so much more patience and understanding.  I find myself taking more deep breathes and just getting over "it".  I haven't called Joe once on a "poor me" rant and when he comes home to a screaming child on time out and a baby that is hungry and asks how my day was I say "good".  The past 5 minutes may have been nuts but that didn't ruin my day or negate all the fun we had before the 3 o'clock melt down.  Life is good.  It is not easy but I am loving it.  I can't help but smile when I look into Stephen's eyes or hold his tiny fingers.   I love how sweet Michael, Lizzie and Audrey are to their brother.  Being a family of 6 is well...AWESOME!!!  So I am going to hold onto that lovely moto.  I want to thrive not just survive.

"You turned my wailing into dancing;

you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.

LORD my God, I will praise you forever".

Psalm 30:11-12

We also let Michael hold him for the first time...boy was he thrilled!!!
We have been super cautious with people touching Stephen but since Michael had no sign of illness we made him wash up really well and let him enjoy the moment =0)

Here are a few pictures of the little guy...on Monday he weighed in at 11lbs 14 ozs!!!

Such a great smile!!!

USC scores...Touchdown!!!!  We start them young =0)